Jacob was a former student of Tae Yun Kim who also lived with her college of learning program with his mother as a teenager in the 1990s. He started a series of expose pieces on Kim in 2005 because he felt that exposing the cult like aspects of her training school was essential.
“I was once a member of GM Kim's cult. She runs a cult, with a chain of command and everything, bankrupts her students and breaks up families like that of a student named Brian. And she has several companies where many of her members work for her for pennies on the dollar of what anyone else would make doing the same job. Then in addition to that they share a house, and have to pay rent fees, and “tuition fees” which amount to nearly their entire monthly earnings. Fake martial arts are the least of most of their problems, though they do have the infamous black belt club. They also have “special” programs that only the richest members are invited to join. She used to have a slough of rich members to pull from in her COL program who were independently wealthy prior to COL, COL standing for city of light.”
The probe fouind many legal problems Kim was having. “Lawsuits, mainly. A look in the Santa Clara County court records website will yield some of that. They have sold their buildings, at least temporarily closed their MA school, currently have their company setup in Fremont.”
“Court ducoments found online indicate that over the course of the 19 years Tae Yun Kim remained in Milpitas, and three years in San Jose, she was sued several times, settled repeatedly out of court, and was noted for fraud and money laundering, but this was not known to the student population that trained at her Jung SuWon martial arts school. In a case in the 1990s she was sued by Brooke, a former student who had been wealthy, and who was tricked out of an interitance of 1.2 million dollars. Also in 1990, another student, Brian, was told to divorce his young wife and leave his infant son so he could train with her. A third case involved a pyramid scam in 1995 involving In Design Nutritionals, a Utah based group, which was defrauding people. In 1996 she was involved in another scam called The People’s Network, a satellite company which was also fraudulent. The two scams were known to the students and manty quit when pressured to join the scams but many stayed and just chose not to be involved. In 2006 shev was involved in a real estate scam in New Mexico.
“Despite claims to being celibate and not liking relationships she was quite surly, claiming her energy made it okay to behave strangely about her male students. She even married a Utah native student, in the 90s when she was 30 years his senior, Spencer, in the hope of taking his money as well, but this was later annulled in court. Then in 2006 she sued her Lighthouse president, a young man she had been having an affair with for years, Adam G., supposedly her husband but clearly 30 years her junior, and a student, for a patent issue and for another affair. The case was settled involving the patent issue and the other charge dropped in 2007.
“Ironically Tae Yun Kim never liked arranged marriages and often spoke up about her upbringing where she did not allow any suitors to come to call. She then instructed her own students to have relationships she approved of, or arranged their relationships.
“Any marriage she arranged with her students or between them are bogus. She should not have been interfering in the lives of her students and cannot deny that those events occurred.
“She event caused a divorce within her group between Michael and Gabi so that Gabi would become her first female black belt, and marry her highest male instructor, Scott. Gabi like so many others changed her name several times and is now called Angelica. Michael was a name change also.”
Jacob Hunter suggested that there might be some sexual allegations at the academy.
Former student Jeff, a blue belt said, “Clare, are you serious? Kim said for years that she had been accused of having sexual relations with her instructors. Are you telling me that's not true or what? I know she did those Romancercize workouts with Mark, but are you saying she did have sexual relations with the black belts? Yea that be so, it makes me sick to my stomach!”
Larry but was one of the name changers students in COL, had dropped from the radar after his ex wife married Kim’s second in command, Scott Salton. He is the father of Sandra and Patrick. Michael was also a black belt.
“Hi Yall. I'm new here. I was once one of the culties. I started out in Vermont and moved out west with them. I've been away from them for about 12 years now. I had pretty much decided to let sleeping dogs lay, but when my ex started to tell lies to my kids about me... well, that frosted my cookies. She is still there and in many ways it breaks my heart to see what they have done to her.”
Any marriage arranged as part of some deal between Kim and her students is not a marriage at all, according to legal records. They might justify this, but in most civil cases this would not be legal, and would fall under common law, according to state records. Students who knew about these marriages always found it strange, but weren’t allowed to balk against it. After all, it was the decision of said involved parties. Even so, it was not a legal marriage of Kim married them. She is not a justice or a preacher.
A personal called Justina who apparently worked with Lighthouse and knew of the student employees there, related for the blog what happened from her experiences.
“The story on Michael F. and Kristina W. is that Michael F., who comes from an affluent family in the east coast, stood to inherit from his grandmother if he was married.
“Both F. and W. had just ended previous relationships that were unsanctioned by Tae Yun Kim because their said partners broke the “rules” that had to do with the physical side of the previously sanctioned relationships. In order for F. to inherit, the marriage was setup and the money was given to Tae Yun Kim. The marriage was a “real” one in the sense that they did live as husband and wife but considering the environment, to call it normal would be a stretch.
“Marriages sanctioned by Tae Yun Kim were subject to her rules in every sense of the word. They were told when to be “together”, how, length of time, frequency, etc, etc. This was just one of the many ways in which she controlled her followers’ lives.
Kristina W. talked to Justina and verified this story. “But since it might be a bitter ex wife it could be subject to interpretation.” Probe said.
Jacob said, “That’s a hard one. I never heard her out rightly say (in non private classes) that one just needed to change their name. However that doesn't mean that’s never happened, many decided to change their name with their own will, wanting to feel part of the club? Not everyone changed their name. Some of the names she did come up with were pretty bogus.”
The former COL student revealed more about inner circle under Justina, “When one starts with COL, the reason she gives for the name change is new beginnings. The “bad energy” from their life is attached to their name so they must “let go” of it. However, this is not the only instance that names are changed. If one commits a transgression against her many rules to live by, part and parcel of the “cleansing” process is to change the name again.
“I know of an incident wherein one of her followers, a single male in his late 30’s admitted in writing and in front of the group that he was hiring prostitutes at the rate of 3-per week for sexual release. He then proceeded to berate himself on how bad he was and how he was so undeserving, blah, blah, blah of Tae Yun Kim’s teachings. As a result, he was subjected to a cleansing process which I believe included fasting, (bread and water), isolation, physical beatings and, a name change.
“This is just one instance of how she manipulates their minds so that she has total control. I mean, if you don’t even have your identity, what do you have? There is one guy, who did not change his name but whenever he is in trouble, she calls him by another name and expects him to respond to her. This is her way of letting him and others know that she is displeased by him and puts him in the position that he has to practically beg for her attention and her forgiveness.
Probe attempted to contact Clark anonymously, the man here, and was not replied to. This cannot be confirmed yet.
The ex student Justina continued, “Sexual abstinence is right. This man is a single male in his late 30’s. Personally having to hire prostitutes in my opinion is just sad, but hey, if he does, what’s the harm except possibly to himself? (never know what you can pick up nowadays). Anyway, the members of the group are not allowed to have sex unless specifically sanctioned by her. time, place , partner, method. Yes, method. Even the married couples are subject to this rule. She tells them, when, where and how and why.
“About the beatings, this happened mostly in private with just the higher-ranking members present. Minor stuff would happen during classes, in front of everyone, but the major deals happened in the privacy of her bedroom or office.
“There was the Inside Edition story several years ago but she hired an image consultant to battle the negative publicity that the story garnered and even gained the sympathy of people in the belief that she was being persecuted unjustly.
“The fear that was prevalent all these years was so complete that many ex-COL members who have been out for years chose to just try to move on and keep everything on the down low, rather than to take her on. It is only now that people are beginning to see that all her talk, was just that, talk, and that although I’m sure she’d love to drive a stake thru each and every one of our cheating hearts, she can’t. …”
Then Justina said, “It saddens me to say that having been in the midst of her followers for a number of years and having had the limited opportunity of observing them in their daily lives, many of them would find it extremely difficult to live on the outside.
“She has destroyed them so completely that they are unable to function as normal people. To a lot of them, her cult is a sanctuary from the outside world. A place where they just exist, do things mechanically and live through another day. Life outside damaged them through their experiences and she finished the job. Most of them have no real interest or knowledge of martial arts except for what she teaches and they accept this as truth and know no other way. In a sense, they will be the collateral damage when all this comes to a head and she is exposed for what she is.”
Tae Yun Kim was fond of using personal jourbnals as a way to “teach” her students and her COL insiders. She would in simple terms blackmail them with the journals, even humiliate them in front of the others in the circle and even in Jung SuWon training class. The same thing is used in Scientology and in many cults.
Justina said, “Regarding the journals, she does use them against the authors but it happens even while they are in the group. She would read the journals then in her “classes” she would talk about what was written, more often than not, outing the author in front of everyone. People are sometimes difficult enough to deal with on a one on one basis but to have to look someone in the face after she had revealed something incredibly intimate and personal is uncomfortable to say the least for both the author and those who have to hear about it. My take on this is that it is just another way that she drives home the fact the she has total and complete control over her followers. There is not even a pretense at privacy. She touts words like humility and honesty as a part of their training and as a reason for the journals, yet she keeps no ones confidence and uses their own words as a tool for further humiliation, a stab at the self image that is almost non-existent in her followers .”
Jacob added the story of a young student in 1997 named Brandon and how he was punished in class in front of everyone for looking at sexual and pornographic images on a computer in one of the COL houses. It was not right for Jacob to mention this without Brandon’s permission, but it does illustrate a point. Grandmaster doesn’t keep any secrets, especially dirty ones.
“Here is the most extreme example of something that has happened. Usually if you were humiliated over a journal entry, it was semi-private, among COL members, it wasn't as humiliating as you think it would be. These are the people you slept near, etc, not a huge deal but humiliating none the less. Often times she doesn't actually read journals, her senior female instructor or another proxy does, and makes cliff notes for her. Things that stick out are brought up on occasion..
“Ok here is the worst thing that ever happened. A part time COL kid (who was there with his mother, part time means he doesn’t live in dorm, but attends COL class) in 1997 was outted over looking at some questionable online material (gay porn and chat rooms-who cares in my view) in front of the Jung Suwon Martial art class. He was no older than 17 at the time and was humiliated by Grandmaster with her microphone in hand, in public at the dojo. There was about 2-3 hours of her lecturing him and us about looking at this content, and possibly abusing himself (for lack of better words, lol) over it.
“Even getting people around the 30 person circle we had to get on the microphone and talk how we felt about it. Of course she wanted us to say “oh its disgusting”, I think I found my way out for a bathroom break during that portion.
“The mother had written it in a journal, and had apparently specifically requested immediate action, in the form of an intervention (of sorts). Well she did, and there was everyone from 50 year old men to 10 year old kids present. Even the kid who is now a yong sa “general” was there, and he was maybe 7 or 8 years old.
“So that’s my journal story, there was other things too, but that one was by far the worst thing I ever saw happen with a journal. Just glad it wasn’t me! Not there is anything wrong with it-Sorry Seinfeld tends to bleed through.”
The unanimous former student and COL student called Justina seemed to know an awful lot about the inner workings of the organization.
“Kim uses people's vulnerabilities to take advantage of them. Most of the stories I have heard from her followers tell of how when they were down and out, in the midst of a divorce, coming out of a bad relationship, family issues, or just searching for something, she was there with the answers they thought they were looking for. The common ground has been Jung Suwon, which on the surface gave her some credibility since her claims to Grandmaster status had been “affirmed” or given credibility by various MA publications where she had been featured. This is where her followers’ first start and come to accept the concept of obedience and discipline that they believe is part of the MA culture. This is where the “Master-Student” relationship starts that eventually evolves into something darker and where control is eventually relinquished to her.
“To trust and be betrayed does not reflect poorly on the victim. I don’t believe that people who have been sucked into cults are stupid or “idiots”. She is good at painting a picture of what people want or need to hear at any given point in time. It is only when one is truly enmeshed in the whole culture that her true colors come out and even then, her actions, when questioned, is explained away as “discipline” or “helping you grow” or “building your character” or the latest” I’m on a mission from God”.
Former student and blue belt Kathy had been a COL program student and Energy training student in addition to doing things for Lighthouse and some of Dr. Kim’s other companies and ventures. Outed on her first post, using the COL name she used, (her first was Kathy Lowe, she offered up the most telling reports from inside the circle.
Note that she was reportedly a failed student who ‘went crazy’ and was like Halpin really bitter about it, and in fact, both she and Halpin were mentioned in the same ‘energy classes’ by name, according to ex students. Kim, that is the Grandmaster, held grudges for years and told on former students to new ones, many anonymous students said.
Kathy Kim said, “I've been reading the posts with much interest. Here's wishing everyone the best. I'd like to put in my 2 cents too. I believe that the posts can also help people talk and help heal what they have gone through. Each and everyone of different levels and different time periods have felt and gone through things only they know. If there is a will there is a way. I'm glad to see some that have come so far. Good luck to all.”
Kathy said, “The head of the table...reminds me of the old days of COL. Although there were different houses, houses for women, for men and the house for the kids plus Tae Yun's house, We had to set her a table setting at the head of the table, when she wasn't even there to eat with us. We didn't put food on her plate, but we did put water and her favorite hot sauce out. I loved my COL “sisters and brothers” but when I left so many lies were told about me. Scott always had me go to the COL members to collect money for “things”. Now who likes the person that “comes” and asks for the money. I really lacked “good” tact too. I have a habit of just saying what is on my mind, getting straight to the point. I'm glad to see there is still postings, I was afraid that my post and name scared some off. I do not have an agenda. Being so close to Tae Yun was traumatic for me. I have been gone 16 years and still carry the scars but I'm older and smarter and feel deeply for what others have gone through. Personally, I think that she taught very good martial arts. She had me go to other studios and watch their training and their testing, and, at least back then, she was very strict and a well rounded teacher. Her top male black belts were the best. I was probably the worst student as I was disabled, but it was good to try. I only saw her do martial arts herself once. And that was at her resident, with a private student, whose name I won't mention. She knows where all the ex COL members live. I know that she always kept tract. I'm sure she still does.”
Kathy said, “We were always told to set the setting for Tae Yun so she must believe she is “the one”. I remember I once asked her after a private lesson with her, in her special sanctuary, if she was an angel! I saw this bright light behind her and around her after we had just meditated to candle light.
“But much later when I really thought about it and I had spent more time in that room, she had all types of lighting that she had put in, that set off that glow. I felt so foolish, as I was also her oldest student. She is 3 years older than I. I knew nothing of the Jewish religion at the time. But then I saw Scott pray in Jesus Christ’s name so I figured he gave up his religion for her. But religion for Tae Yun is what ever fits the time. I went through the Mormon teachings with her and then she was baptized Mormon. But for her, she had something to gain by doing that. “
Jeff said, “Kathy: When you have a small table with a big 11/14 picture of Tae Yun on it and then in front of it you have a candle and you light the candle and you sing Tae Yun, Tae Yun, over and over again, is that worshiping?
“Kathy you are definitely telling the truth on that. Who remembers this: Waking up with a knot around your ankle and a note. Creepy. Well, I never heard of waking up with a knot & note around my ankle, but I do know that I did exactly what Kathy described.
“In my years at JSW, I had my own altar with Tae Yun picture, including candles and a bowl of rice to hold incense sticks. Many times I chanted and bowed before it. Very worship-esq!”
Kathy said, “You went straight to work, which was Lighthouse Associates, Worldwide Solutions, I'm not sure of the correct title. So you did what you had to do. Being clean was very important. We worked in too close of proximity.”
Then Kathy said, “No door in COL was allowed to be locked, either it be bathroom or bedroom door. No privacy at all. I even had to help go through another COL member’s personal papers and things. His wife was there, but they may of been divorced by then, I know she hadn't been living with him for quite sometime. Then the info was turned over to Tae Yun. Talk about invasion of property. Nothing is private, on the COL side.”
Several COL students were ‘tagged’ according to Chicabonita, which meant that during their sleep, someone came in and put a little bracelet on her ankle. This was quite disturbing and a clear invasion of privacy.
Jacob said, “I recently heard that one of her now senior instructors liked messing with people in their sleep. I suspect he may have been the bracelet ninja, under Tae Yun’s direction. My note, I still have it said “I was here, where were you”. I tended to stay away from the kim chi, but she may have put something in the rice, lol. We were usually sleep deprived in some form, so I slept pretty darn hard. I think we were all “tagged” around the same night that chica is speaking of.”
Yeoman said, “Back to that 'Tag on the Ankle” thing - In the interest of fairness to both sides, how is this feasible? Do you sleep so soundly that you can't feel someone touching you? Do you sleep sans blanket or sheets? Does Tae Yun put knockout drops in your kimchi? Not trying to be contentious, just need a clarification. The additional horror of this is that bodies are tagged this way in the morgue....Just something to ponder over.”
Then Ronin.74 said, “Yeoman - Back to that 'Tag on the Ankle” thing - The additional horror of this is that bodies are tagged this way in the morgue....Just something to ponder over.
“I actually put some thought into this as well and if I were doing something like this, this is how I would pull it off. First it would need to summer when people are less likely to be sleeping under sheets and may have a top blanket or none at all.
“If it was cold the temp of the room would have to be high enough to encourage them to sleep on top of the sheets. You would tie the string into a loop before entering the room, not while in the room. You would then have to quietly enter expose the foot (if it isn't already) then just drop the loop overtop of it and leave. Really wouldn't be that difficult to pull off under those circumstances. At least that's how I would do it.”
So Jacob said, “Ok here is something we never brought up. I was brought in by my mom, I was age 12 when she (we) joined. We were brought into COL fairly quickly. Anyhow, there was self discovery weekend. I don't think anyone has mentioned it before, I never went, but I do know the bulk of it.
“It is important in the history of COL because it fed off of the self help craze of the 90's. A bulk of the COL members were originally recruited through this program. It was a weekend retreat, where you did the typical team building climbing over a wall, “bong training” which was actually the use of a stick weapon, I think other Asian MA call it a bo. Any who, here is an important thing for you Yeoman, part of the information I was emailing you about earlier.
“The finale event was called the “som tong”. There was even shirts you could buy saying “I survived the som tong”, (not to mention some pigeon English wear, like a shirt that said “Get your butt!”, apparently a famous GM quote.
“Anyhow the som tong was essentially a Native American sweat lodge. Last year I did some research on the sweat lodges, the Native Americans claim they came in contact with spirits through it, that they can see things not normally visible, etc. Medical professionals counter the claims with that they are just over-exhausting themselves and hallucinating, no different than mirages in the desert.
“Ok side note again, people have often asked what the draw is. Tae Yun Kim often claimed to be the “words foremost (Ki) energy expert”. Kim would claim when you went in the som tong, you could see peoples Ki energy, despite there now being medical explanations for the things you see in sweat lodges. Many of the members would claim to see energy of others on a day to day basis, claiming they had a sixth sense with people, and could detect their energy, and if they had an open cup.
“One instructor even took to making an obnoxious clicking sound with his mouth and nose that sounded like he had some sort of nervous tick, his claim was they he was expelling bad energy. Kim would often do the same thing.
“So this was the draw. Ki energy, and the claim that going into the som tong enlightened you. There is a video filmed about the Self discovery weekend from 1996, by a German station called Pro-7 (sieben), it was very high quality and filmed on 35mm.
Kathy commented on the many self discovery weekend programs from the 1990s as well. She said, “Jacob...that was the best part of Self Discovery Weekend....You crawl in on your hands and knees and a towel wrapped around you, nothing else. You sit Indian style and meditate. She then pours water over the hot rocks that are in a hole in the ground...You sweat like crazy, but it is a way of cleaning you out and purifying you. Then you start your chanting, then each would take their time to say what they wanted to improve or get rid of. All the while she is putting water on the hot stones. What a steam sauna. But energy isn't a joke or a hoax. You just never experienced it. Anyway when you crawl out, you go down to the lake and dive in ice cold water. Yin Yang. When she lost that property, we went to a public mountain park and didn't have a lake so we had to take a 5 gallon bucket of water and pour it over our heads. You really can't knock what you haven't done. But many people have done it, she didn't make this process up herself. Prior to going into the Som Tong or whatever it was called, we would sing and chant as we walked around a fire. It makes you feel good inside and out. It looks like an igloo made out of bended branches and covered with black plastic sheeting. They would dig the hole and put the rocks in a fire that would burn most of the day. Then we went up there at night. It was quite a climb up there too. But everyone was so exhausted they slept like babies that night. All the COL members worked double time to prepare everything and cook all the food and have it ready for the other people. They had to pay to go too. Hmmm.”
Then Jacob said, “Energy is opinion, I am more into science. The problem I have is the implication that she is the expert.. because she put you in this som tong, got you hot enough to hallucinate, she is somehow the worlds foremost ki energy master.”
Fox said, “What I find interesting is why would the COL members have to work double-time to prepare all the food and then turn around and pay to go to this so called self discovery weekend? Sounds like another attempt to profit from someone else's labor to me.”
Kathy said, “Same thing as the som tong. We weren't in there 40 minutes though. Too many people to make it last too long. By sweating you do get the toxins out of your body. We had dinner and didn't fast before.
“Not all that she does is wrong, but not always made up by her. Science is great. I bet you don't believe in acupuncture either? I have used it many times in my life and it is wonderful, but who can explain how it truly works.
“We at COL were “lucky” to be able to do her bidding. If it wasn't for COL, she wouldn't be where she is.....It takes lots of worker bees to take care of the queen bee doesn't it. You don't make any money if you pay someone to do the work. So, all COL members must have large bank accounts, property in their name and money to retire on some day. I wonder why so many people that came with her from Vermont have left? Scott is the only senior instructor, at the time I was there, that is still with her. Why did all the others leave? They must have all been bad! Especially after being with her for so many years. Or what did they find out and realize?”
Kathy said, “I agree with you Clar.....then when you think they are all family and you care and love each other, then you leave, and they all hate you. Even if it had nothing to do with them. Guess that shows the thin line between love and hate. You would think it would be stronger. But she can't have that, or more may take a closer look as to what is going on then leave too.”
Kathy said, “I left in October of 91, so I don't remember that. I can't see her giving the same amount of money back to them. Then she had most of the COL members working on outside jobs to bring in money. It was before they got the clean room jobs. She is making so much money now; hopefully she gives some to the COL. Or do they think she is going to support them rest of their lives, like they have her? If you can't be a worker bee or contribute, I can't see that. I'm sure they all have 401K's? What do you think?”
Kathy said, “Maybe she is looking for a new title...such as a “saint” This is nothing religious as no one that believes in the holy Mary mother of God would tape this and then post in on YouTube. I know that she didn't post it herself but it was ok's by her I bet. I think it should be shown to the Church and see what they would say. I say it is sacrilege. Maybe she is having another “challenge” in life and needing surgery for something? Isn't that what everyone was told all the time? That blond hair looks really bad. She must have a new wig person. She did have on some great shoes though thanks for the post Clar Did you notice she had to place “her” candle inside the fence? Makes her one step closer to or more important I believe.”
Kathy said, “When I joined COL it meant center of light, her being the light. I always wondered if Lighthouse was from back east because of the lighthouses....but her being the light and it being her “house” makes one wonder. Actually I never gave it much thought till now, as we always went by initials. The initials for lighthouse use to be different. At least I remember it as different. But with my age and memory, who knows.”
Kathy said, “Tae Yun would not have a business that wasn't being overseen by someone in COL some way. She isn't that trusting of anyone. Nor is Scott. Someone was here when their car was broke into and all those circuit boards or whatever was stolen. Lucky for them the police found them for them before they got out of town with them! I'll have to look it up in the papers archives. I'm sure on the police report it will say who the person was.
Kathy said, “I never ate pancakes for breakfast while I was in COL. I heard a rumor she had diabetes. If she does, she shouldn't be eating pancakes! All we ever had was Korean food. She was born in 46 so I don't think this is a recent video. Or she is lying about her age. It does look old though. 3 gates....what is she afraid of? Humm wonder what it could be. Has she done something wrong to people? Scott use to carry a gun under the front seat of his car...I asked him why, especially when he was their number 1 martial artist, and he was good, he would say, you never know when you would need it. I know he didn't have a permit at the time. It made me nervous when I had to drive his car. That is how they all act around her! Say you bought the food and made the lunch, or if you paid for everyone to go to lunch, they praise her and thank her for lunch. Like they would go hungry if she hadn't allowed them to eat it. The video also said she did the clean rooms in 89 and I was there till the end of 91 and they did not have it then!! Boy do they like to spin tales.”
Kathy said, “Tae Yun would take the “sons” and pick out their clothes they were going to wear at the store. She would pick them out and they would pay for them, with their own money, and then thank her for their clothes. Of course without her, they wouldn't have the money! Yes she tells everyone how to wear their hair. She decides what looks good on everyone. Not that she is wrong, but she picks out her own clothes. I never saw her sit at a computer the whole time I was there with her. Much less Scott to show her the newspaper. If they are trying to do damage control with these videos, someone is misleading them. It looks like they are just confirming they are a cult, one with money, but still a cult. If Scott and Erika are her son and daughter in law....then Tae Yun is a Grandma. Are her grandchildren anywhere around? No, she stole their mother from them. Or at least her affections, which kids need no matter what age. They are great kids too.”
Kathy said, “The three that she calls her “son's” came with her from Vermont. They have been with her for well over 20 years. Everyone considers her their mother. I doubt if they are legally adopted. I was surprised when two others from Vermont left her. One went on to Medical School and became a Dr and he was her favorite. Thank Goodness his family got him back.. Then there was another “brains” of Lighthouse, he left. I don't know why. But they both came from Vermont. Early in 1990, a black belt left that was from Vermont, he had only been there for 10 years. After he left, it was like he had never been there. They treated him like a flunky. Which is the same for anyone when you think of it, all do her bidding. I never seen the kids go hungry, but I didn't live at the kids’ house. The person that overseen them, had kids herself, so I think she fed them.
“I haven't seen them post about that yet, maybe they will. But Clar was a kid when he was there, so he would know what he was fed. At the adult COL we always had kim chee and rice and eggs and we had some veggies for our stir frys and some fruit. No dairy products. But at new years we would have to fast for at least a week with only an apple a day.
“Our training was a little less aggressive but we still worked every day. So Scott was happy when we fasted and it was less money for groceries. I did most of the cooking at Tae Yun's home and they ate better than the houses, of course. I remember Scott would be mad because I would have to spend so much on beef and chicken when the “sports” people were there for special training. Back then they paid five hundred a day to be trained. I felt that at least deserved good meals. Five hundred back then was quite a bit, for what they got. They didn't have the whole day one on one.
“Back to if they think she is their mother, yes they spend every day with her and “breathe” as one with her, so they have had more time with her than their real mother's. I would feel the same had I been with her that length of time. I am only 3 years younger than her, so it was a stretch to think of her as mother, more of a older sister or just “something” higher than me. Everyone is beneath her...so we were taught to think.....But ya know what? We all have to crap the same.. and no one is superior. But you can't tell anyone, while they are with her that. Respect is good, worship is going too far....In the video, and they all turned there head away from her to drink their water, I never did understand that rule.. I guess her seeing their mouth is what? What were you told about that Jacob? We just did it and didn't ask why.....just because our older COL brothers told us we should do it like they did.”
Kathy said, “I even gave one of the meditation tapes to my son that was in the Marines and on an aircraft carrier. It did help him go to sleep at night, his berth was 3 floors below the flight deck and the planes took off 24 hours a day. Recently I just reread a letter he sent me from Desert Storm, he said maybe when he got out they would come to Milpitas and come to JSW. Thank GOD that I left there before he got out of the service. He was in active duty for 6 years. In fact I was in North Carolina, and at the same time Tae Yun was saying I was in town, and threatening her. I had to have a COL person call me in NC to prove that I was really there. Showing her how I wasn't even in town and she was lying to her. Unfortunately, she is still there. There are several watchers and ex COL members that prefer, right now, to just read the posts yeoman. I know it gets boring just to read Clar's and my posts. Then I just run on.. with stuff most know about. Maybe I should just read the posts. I know COL hates hearing my name or reading my posts. Wondering what I may really say. Or others...hmmm the truth shall set all free.”
Kathy said, “I didn't check in when I was in NC. I just had the student call me there to prove that Tae Yun was lying to her and everyone else. That I wasn't in CA at the time she said I was threatening her. What better way than to prove she is lying. Can't be in two places at once. When I left COL Tae Yun asked me to come back. I told her no, She would never be able to trust me again, and I would never be able to trust her. If you don't have trust you have nothing. The reason she was afraid of me was because I knew the truth of lots of things that she had done. I had documents to back me up too.
“By the way, that isn't her hair. It is a wig. She has vey little hair and a flat head in the back. She must of been kept on her back for long periods of time when she was a baby. You would never recognize her without make-up. I didn't when I first saw her face without makeup. Course what a person looks like doesn't make the person. Beauty comes from within. Some are just dark.”
Then Jacob said, “I remember that first Korean lesson, in late 1995. The first one was the equivalent to “The president is very successful” referring to her. By age 15 I went to Korea with the previous poster, Palmer, who was then 9. Both him and I had enough Korean to get our way around Korea via bus/taxi/rail... Too bad that Korean is such a useless language outside of Korea (and LA), as I could have probably done something with the knowledge when I left. You did a great job of summarizing the draw, back end working of the cult chica. Something that I can never find the patience for. Tangents are my enemy.”
Then Jacob said, “Tae Yun had many strange practices. We had to step over every threshold using only our right foot. No caffeine, no dairy we even went as far as shaking peoples hands while bowing and using two hands.
“Let me break that last thing down. You extended your right hand to shake as normal, but then joined the tip of your left hand into your inner elbow. I learned all of this, and went to Korea, tried it.. if it was Korean tradition, it seemed to be more in the female, maybe even the geisha like spectrum of the population.
“The single thing that sticks with me most about Korean culture was this; I was on a Samsung campus somewhere in South central Korea, We finished eating lunch and all of the men went over to this park at Samsung that was clearly designated male only. Lunch had been a very spicy bowl of kim chee soup from the corporate cafeteria, Everyone opened their pants (Al Bundy style), sat around on the benches and flatulated. Then followed that up with a trip to the restroom located only steps away. That was the day I learned about real Korean culture.”
Then Jacob said, “No there was always the fear of the women tempting the men. In fact on the rare occasions there was sexual contact, or even sometimes pining (that wasn't sanctioned) there was a “class” about it, in which we would be subjected to the inner details of the BJ, etc that occurred. They would be humiliated/outcast in front of all of COL.
“The women, as chica mentioned, had to try hard to impress Tae Yun, so often after an encounter such as this they would put it in their “journal” to Tae Yun, which would subsequently be read by Kim's closest, pointed out to her, and then made the subject of an entire COL class.
“I may have mentioned this before, sorry if I did. A 17 year old boy was evidently caught by his mother either looking at gay porn or a gay chat room or both.. Can't remember precise details, and he was humiliated over it, and Tae Yun cleansed him publicly in front of the entire Jung Suwon class... It is one thing to be humiliated in the semi-privacy of COL, but Jung Suwon, there might as well have been a press release.
“Anyhow, there was a culture sexual taboo. Basically any sexual activity had to be wither with or approved by Tae Yun. Also Tae Yun liked the idea of all of the men, proclaiming her to be so hot... She even used to say, “Ain't I hot” and snap her fingers, and all of the men and women would say “Yes Ma'am!””
Then Jacob said, “This brings up something: When you went to your families a lot of people dreaded it. One reason being because they would call you by your old name. That may have been one of the effective good reasons for changing your name. You felt alienated and unaccepted when they would call you by your “old name”. Just my 2c.”
Reality said, “Here is a note to Current COL members of Tae Yun Kim from the survivors of her programs. We are the voice of many generations of students abused and exploited by the one know by the following names and other that courtesy pushes us not to mention. Kong Ae Fontaine, Mu Ae Shim, Master Fontaine, Grandmaster Fontaine, Tae Yun Kim, Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim, Great Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim, Great Grandmaster Dr Tae Yun Kim.
“Firstly we would like to say hello and wish you well. Despite all that has happened we shared a special bond with many of you. Many of our members have been your role models up until the day we decided to leave. No matter what you do, we bear you no malice. We have been where you are now. While we were in COL, many of us have seen our closest friends leave and turn form being referred to with exaltation to being referred to with disdain. Be honest with yourself during your quite personal moments and affirm that most of us have done nothing wrong in your direct experience, yet we gradually have been cast as villains largely through the directive and influence of one person.
“Most of you, as unimaginable as it seems, some day will be where we are now. Most of you will leave of your own free will. Most of you like the rest of us will leave only with debt. You will do this gladly because the accumulated inconsistencies, injustices and untruths will grow too hard for you to live with. Even golden hand cuffs, the promises of wealth and stature will not be enough to keep you.
“We can not hate you because we have been where you are now and fully understand the dominating power of that environment. The truth of this can only become apparent to you when you have the clear uncontrolled perspective the free thinking world.
“We do feel for you because we have heard it all and in many cases we were the ones to tell it to you. Fear of leaving is subtlety and continually cultivated there. The longer you stay there like many of us, the harder it becomes to leave. In interviewing some of the survivors of Jonestown they were adamant in explaining that life in the people’s temple was not all bad and that it was a great place to live. We feel for them as we do for you.
Yes, there were good times in COL as well, mostly in the bonds that were built with fellow members. The same things exist in any community however. The big difference is in society you do have the freedom to follow your own path, to make your own mistakes.
“Making any change in your life takes courage. You’re most likely to leave however leave at some point in the future and then you will have to put your life back together. It is not as hard as you may think and there will be many people around who will help you.
“We will leave with one question than we can not seem to figure out no matter how much we study it. How many people who have left COL are considered good people by Great Grandmaster Kim?
“If almost all the people who leave COL turned bad virtually overnight, what was it that happened to them to make them this way?
“Where they already bad when they arrived? If so why did this not come up in the 10+ years that many of them trained and taught?
“If they became bad as a result of their COL training then what does this say about the teaching? Also if we look at COL history in the case of virtually every person who has left COL Great Grandmaster Kim says that they have become corrupted and bad people.
Perhaps it was the outside world that has corrupted them.
“But, if the outside world can corrupt almost every person that comes out of 10+ years in the COL environment, what is it that they really learnt at COL, what is it they truly have gained?
“Many of us have been out of COL for a time so we ask you for your guidance in explaining this to us. Because it really is a little confusing how one day a person can be exhalent and a week or so later demonized. This makes sense if it is the case for one person or maybe two or three, but how can this be so for almost every person who leaves. Historical trends in COL strongly suggest that one day things will play out the same for you? Please answer our question. We are confused.”
Then Jacob said, “It definitely, absolutely wasn't easy cutting those ties. In fact I remember we were all punished because my mother took me into COL3 when I was 12 years old and sick. I don't remember what words were used, our connection was too strong or something to that affect (you probably remember) We all were not allowed to get rides from COL members to school anymore, because of it... SUCH BS...”
“I think it is an absurd notion for anyone to really think that kim read those journals in COL... back in the day, there was about 30 similar 4+ page journals per week. I know I wouldn't. ....Mostly consisting of “I love you ma'am, I am trying to focus my purpose to shine your light as one, etc”....
Then Reality said, “Yes, her abuse of people journals will give you all some disturbing insight into the true nature of the woman. For those of you who do not know, it was a common practice for her to share intimate details revealed in journals to her inner circle members. At times she would even read passages. No care was given to the handling or security of people’s personal thoughts. People’s darkest secrets often became subject to much laughter and joking.
“This is pretty bad, but please read on it gets much worse. She would often cross reference items in journals and use the information to catch and expose people. This is largely how she was able to maintain the elusion that she could read people’s minds. She was reading, but what she was reading was information about them supplied by other people in their journals.
“This is not speculation, many of our senior members were there as she shared and joked about the details of students confessions. There was something in the hap-hazard and light hearted way it was done that was particularly disturbing. Often punitive actions to be taken against the student would be pulled for the air at the dinner table and the next day they would be acted out to the surprised student. There was no thought or meditative searching given to the choices made. And no matter what the result was the person would be dragged through several nights of intense public reprimanding and humiliation at COL meetings and dinners.
“It was in this way that she was able to destroy the initiative of individuality in people. Even the people in the inner circle did not dare speak their real mind because they knew that they would get the same treatment or perhaps worse.
“Yes, she asked us to destroy our journals while they kept copies. This evolved out of her getting bitten several times when she tried to distort the facts to her advantage. In having people destroy their journals it is much easier for her to rewrite history. Re-writing history is something that she routinely did and I am sure that any of you who have been there for any length of time have seen this.
“At the heart of it all she is not a very intelligent woman, but she does learn from her mistakes. Her real strength lies in being able to do things that transcend the bonds of common decency without much thought. The deception eludes us, because we can not even imagine that a person could stoop to such base and disgusting levels. She may have picked this inhumanity up from her first profession back in Korea.
“So much for the purity of her intentions; she clearly and repetitively uses people’s personal information to her own end. The relationship between client and councilor is one that is supposed to be strictly confidential. The goal of a spiritual leader is to help the person, period. The moment that an outside purpose is thrown into the equation is when a spiritual leaded becomes tainted.
“Just some humble insight. By the way we deeply apologies for not standing up to the lie and being a part of this evil abuse client councilor confidentiality. There is little we can do now to take back our actions other than apologize and express our deep shame.”
Reality said, “Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. It is terrible that Tae Yun came between and destroyed so many families, but then she saw family intimacies as a threat to her control over the individual. This is why she feared and despised women so much.
“I would just like to add a clarification for those who were not in COL, although some of the houses were nice they were usually crowded with as many students as she could fit. Usually the tuition of a few students covered the expenses and the rest was gravy for her.”
Then Kathy said, “Tae Yun would come to the women's COL home with the instructors to see how clean it was and what we were doing. She would say it stank like females. She had all females douche with Kosher Salt, even those that were virgins! Females were also not allowed to wear perfume. Just the loads of make-up. She would have make-up classes and charge the people in COL for attending them, then have them cake on all the make-up. Most didn't wear make-up when they came. There are so many strange things that she did, but they are not all brought to light as when you do the things, you just do it as a mater a fact.”
Kathy said, “lol I disagreed with doing that, in fact I didn't. Seemed to me it would just dry your insides out. Maybe she was taught that herself, who knows? I stayed in the home with her, was in her bathroom and bedroom all the time. I never saw it in there for her to douche with. Guess her you know what doesn't stink to her! What do you think? Reminds me of the saying, rat smells their own hole.”
Kathy said, “I can't imagine her telling someone to strip naked for people to look at their body? How terrible. I remember when I had my hysterectomy, had my stomach cut open. We had a COL class right after that, she had me pull down the front of my pants so everyone could see my scar. I didn't show pubic hair or anything, but it still had the surgery drain going on. And let me tell you, I had the biggest belly there, plus butt Wonder if she would be willing to show the places she had her surgery? I have to say, when I went into surgery, her and Scott followed my bed to the operating door, and they wanted to talk to my dr. before he went in. Then Scott stayed the whole day while they operated. I know because I had friends there most of the day waiting for me to get out from surgery. Not that he socialized with them except to say hi. They will never be able to replace Chica's mom, that they treated her so cold during her illness is terrible. I hope Tae Yun realizes she will reap what she sews. She tells you about your children, that they will leave the nest someday so you need to live your life for you, and what makes you happy. If someone had a child together in COL, is she afraid they would love that child more than her? Guess that may be part of the reason there isn't any kids. Or are they allowed to have sex?”
Kathy continued, “Since she is a teacher of martial arts, I really think that should come first. Because if it is a false claim that she tells all, the others don't matter. Except how she treats her “col” family, as far as not being able to have sex. Before she married in 91, her and I had a talk about sex. She revealed to me that it always hurt her, so I opened up to her and told her how to make it not hurt, how to guide her partner. I'm never embarrassed talking about sex. It is a normal function in life. If you can help someone enjoy it more, you should do so. Because of my lack of family love, I search for love in many places and I have to say I had many partners. It was always consensual and for enjoyment. No animals or children were hurt in the process. In fact she had some tapes of me having phone sex when my phones were tapped. I wonder if she has tried that? You don't even have to wear a condom! I'm probably giving more info than what is needed, but like I said sex means nothing bad to me or about me. Only when someone poses to be something they aren't.
“Footnote: when she was talking about sex hurting her, she was referring to when she was married to Fontaine. Fontaine is a big guy. She also cried during our talk because she couldn't believe that he could leave her after all she taught him about energy. Not because of how much she loved him, but because of all she taught him. Different way of thinking.”
Then Kathy said, “Morbid curiosity - guess maybe that's one of my journal entries... LOL! See everyone wants to see the surgical scars! lol I have a roadmap all over my body. I'm all for plastic surgery. Just don't lie about it. Don't say you are having a challenge, saying it is cancer, when it is really a boob job. When some one sees my hair and likes it, I tell them right where they can buy one just like it. I let my nurse at my dr.’s office try it on, take a picture with it to show her husband.... Ohhhhh they seen my hair all smashed down. Big deal. No vanity here. If people love me, it is from what is in me, not my outer self. I'm big but my heart is twice the size.”
Kathy said, “An open letter to COL people, at least those that I know......I hope you are all able to read what has been written here. I guess there is some truth that is going to be provided for you tomorrow. Please read it and ask yourself, what are the other lies not listed? Don't lose out on your family, or your life, while you stay there. Because the day you are not a contributor, you will be pushed out and forgotten. Do you think they are going to take care of you as you age? Heaven forbid if you should be ill and can't bring in the almighty buck. Do you have a nest egg? A retirement plan? You are lucky if you have medical. Those of you who have questions, take some time, get away with yourself and your family so you can think straight.
“I feel robbed. My priorities were wrong. We don't “take time” for ourselves when we brought children into this world to raise, at least not till they are raised. That is our responsibility. You deserve more than you are getting. I did not get kicked out of col. I left. She wanted me back, but I wouldn't come. Once you lose trust in someone, you have nothing. I missed you all and the “great team work” but bigger things were happening behind the scenes.”
Then Truth Set Free said, “We all struggled for years because she’s so convincing. We genuinely wanted what she did and said to be true. We joined for the promise of a better life. Is debt and depression, emotional and physical abuse better than what you had prior to joining? No situation or lifestyle is without good times and bad, but there are certain lines that should not be crossed.
“Right now, you Tae Yun, hate us. That’s only because you are given false information about us. We have nothing to hide or lose. We prefer not to give out names because we prefer not getting singled out in a class where we do not have a voice. We are not the ones fighting to keep the status quo. If anyone leaves we are approachable and there with open arms. Forgive us if we seem a little skeptical at first. We lived there as brothers and sisters for a long time. If you believe we are “evil, dark side, or in a den of devils” then you haven’t done your homework.
“To Tae Yun Kim: Be truthful and respectful to the people who follow you. They are all you have, and all you have is because of them. Never forget that; treat them right and they’ll stand beside you for life. Where would you be without them? Osan? You also made a promise to RP to make him walk again. How dare you promise something you can not deliver. I’m sure you did want to help him, but to play on that emotion… When was the last time you even thought about that? You have some questions that need answers.”
Truth Set Free appeared to have been an ex student, and he or she said, “living is easy with eyes closed.. misunderstanding all you see..
“You know what the best thing is Ma'am? Look around the room at the next COL class. I just might be one of those people sitting there and smiling and doting upon you. Am I in or am I out? Have I made audio tapes of COL classes? Have I made up my mind to leave yet? Or have I left. Figure this out soon. Have I accumulated information over the years? And how much? What are you going to have to deny now? That could be a lot of damage control. And if I’m declaring my undying trust and faith in you at the next COL class, I just might be lying. You created the game, I’m just a player. Jung Su!”
Shadow Dancer said, “Kathy - Jung Su....I haven't heard that in a long time. What was the meal time prayer Chica, I forgot? I'm sure that all abide by it. Maybe you could print it here.
“Let's see... I think it went...“Let us channel as we are one strength, one universal mind, one power, and one spirit, under one healing force... from pure white light of Christ. Nothing but good will come to us, nothing but good will go from us.”
“If anyone can remember more... please add to it.”
“Then at the end she added “leKaiam” I can't spell it. She didn't say it right anyway. But it comes from the Jewish religion. Probably for Scott. I never knew anything about the Jewish religion, but my grandchildren go to Jewish camp because their other grandparents are Jewish. That is probably why we were taught by her to boil our meat in Kosher salt and garlic too. I know when she was Mormon she still said it, does she now that she changed religion again? After looking back on papers that I have from being there, COL is center of light. Did it change from the time that I was there? Why not? Didn't we change our names too. As you see, I took her name. Blindness is bliss, I guess.”
Kathy said, “-- Freedom, How would COL class be with a couple seniors on laptops with internet access keeping them updated of today's forum?
“Imagine being those still there, going to COL class being questioned about having a recording device in your pocket or bag. The funny thing is that someone is going to be next to leave and when they do, even more audios will make it to us.
“How can they do Inner Power Class calls or even have successful business calls when someone could be recording them from the inside? What a thought. The feeling of violation that she gave everyone after they left is something she is feeling with each post.
“Do you think she will require cavity searches now before anyone can attend the COL classes or other meetings? You never can be too sure. As she knows, those recording devices and such come in very small sizes. Or they can be placed in discreet places around the room, or even outside. my... my... my.... I wonder how she likes her intimate and such activities taped? Karma is kicking butt.. wonder how they feel about it coming back and biting her? Where is her purity?
“She never does anything herself.... she would have someone do the “dirty” work for her. Don't they pay good money to serve her? They probably have to search each other, then they switch places..
“Remember Dr. Zandy...she would invite him to all the “events” I don't remember if I said it out loud to her or not, but the last person you want hanging around you is a plastic surgeon and then say you were having a different procedure done. Lame.. or as she told it “facing a life challenge”
“Don't get me wrong......if a person wants to have plastic surgery that is up to them. She even said I could get lipo to get rid of my excess skin under my chin...which I don't know if that would be worth going under the knife for. They would have to lipo a lot more than under my chin too. The wrong part is to lie about it. Make people think you have cancer and such. They are going to love you for you, not for what you look like. Even though she has done all these things to hurt people, I feel sorry for her. Not as much as the people, including myself, but she is to also be pitied. What could of been a good teacher in this life, turned towards fulfilling what she wanted and not caring about who she hurt or stepped on in fulfilling her needs. Are you proud of yourself “ma'ma” ? Do you really get a good look at yourself in that mirror? Why don't you stare in that mirror like you made us do in “energy class” what devil do you see? You better get a bigger mirror to see how horrific you have grown.”
Zandy is a plastic surgeon. He was not available for comment or is retired.
Reality said, “Dear ex-COL, We hope that you make every day, freedom day for yourselves. Enjoy today and every day and move passionately forward in your life, towards your goals and dreams. Be proud of who you are because you are living life without someone telling you how to dress, what to eat, how to talk or how to live your life. We, the former instructors, apologize for not seeing this emotional terrorist for who she really is. We are sorry for participating in her activities and we apologize to each you for building her into something she is not.
“COL, you know how to reach us when you get on the outside.
“It takes time to detoxify yourself from that environment and to trust people again but don’t worry, you can definitely make it through what might appear to be the impossible and we are here for you if you need anything, to get yourself started in normal society. What you do in your life is your personal choice and not the choice of anyone but you and the power truly is in you to be free.
“And to you, the person whose titles couldn’t be any more mislabeled, almost 100% of your instructors from day one are all now close friends. Do that math and there are more former senior instructors, and let’s not forget your former bed partners, on the outside than on the inside, and that is a whole lot of history that is way beyond your control. If you were such a visionary you would have seen this coming or at least tried to call us to get us at least feeling sorry for you again, be we know that you have grown to big in your own head to do that.
“Adam G, a student, you took the hits for us and for that we are grateful. Thanks for being who you are.
Juliana O’Neil, also called Denise Shirley, was a brown belt at Jung Suwon and a COL member. She was outed on this forum by Sarah Alex Kim, and here is her first long post. She is also the mother of Jacob Hunter, also known as John Wilkenson, also outed. She goes by the initials, Juliana.
Juliana said, “Celibacy-- In regards to discussions that Tae Yun Kim had about whether or not we should have sex, the point was clearly made to us all in COL , in many COL classes that we were to live celibate lives as she “supposedly did”. I know now that to be completely untrue. She totally painted herself to be the “pure angel”....the second coming in a female form.
“Tae Yun also often discussed these sexual topics in front of minor children...discussing blowjobs and other sexual acts. When I was not present, I later learned that she explained sodomy to my son in great detail. He was only 14. These things were discussed both publicly within COL class and in private, telling them what these things were as they were too young to even understand. Or telling them that they should save their semen for the older women as it made a good facial mask. What the H...!
“She also would ask everyone in COL class (even the children) to admit who they were attracted to within COL. Then she would make them face that person and tell them in front of everyone else. Again more tools of humiliation to condition our minds and actions.
“And trust me, from personal experience I found out what happens to you when you even remotely think about crossing the line of intimacy without her “blessing” . We were severely reprimanded for even thinking about masturbation. And if other things happened between two people...without getting into details right now, there definitely was physical, emotional and mental abuse that occurred privately to the parties involved. This was all of Tae Yun's tools for conditioning to control our every thought and action and create an environment where we all questioned who we could trust. Because even if you did have any intimacy with anyone within COL, the other person was conditioned to journal or discuss it personally with Tae Yun. So you better make a serious attempt to come clean or the punishments could be even more severe. I have written detailed journals about this that may come out soon in the website.”
So Kathy said, “Thanks for your comments Juliana......everyone needs to speak out...don't hold back.....the things she has done is terrible. there needs to be a stop to it before more people are scarred by her teachings.”
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