bemused said, “That sure showed the chasm between Tae Yun's preaching and practice. Some family values! It's great that you broke away and were able to help your parents.
Companies are required by law to give up to 12 weeks of family medical leave, one type of which is caring for a sick relative. And many companies are flexible in allowing employees with proven track records to cut back to part-time work if they need to. But of course, Tae Yun considers herself above the law and more important than anyone else.
Carson said, “
“Tae Yun probably did help a few people with her martial arts teaching and New Agey talk about taking charge, but what she promised was far more grandiose than what she was able to deliver. The best she could be was a second-rate motivational speaker.
“The change from talk of saving the world to talk of making money might have begun just after the Inside Edition report and not long before I left. I remember how in one COL class she asked each of us to visualize how much we thought we could personally earn for Lighthouse and her other companies. I thought it absurd to ask people so grossly underpaid to visualize six-figure earnings. Where was the money going to come from, winning the lottery? Lighthouse had the potential to become more successful, but in a niche market like that, it wasn't exactly in a position to compete with Microsoft.
I too was severely depressed when I left. When I first joined COL, I felt like I could accomplish anything I wanted to, but by the time I left I felt like I couldn't do anything right. I was living on hope for many years and finally ran out of it. Then I found new hope in the thought of returning to my music, which drew me farther and farther away from Tae Yun.”
Her Lesson said, “I heard she got her honorary degree through donations to the school. I am more likely to believe that it was paid for then earned.
“Thesis, my butt, from what I know she can't even use the ATM. So...from what I am gathering from the information posted she is now using her employee (col members) to do everything for her including writing a so called thesis, correct? And sk is also now giving up her brains for the piranha?”
“As I posted before, reading about cult members, there are some who do not or cannot make their own choices. It is easier for them to be abused then to make their own decisions. When getting out in the real world, you are free to make your own choices, some are followers so they cannot make up their own mind. Therefore, the members in col are followers and cannot make their own decisions or choices. They blindly follow an old, wig wearing woman who's only purpose in life is to have people take care of her. How sad.”
Her Lesson said, “I do not understand why the col'ers who make up some of the phony certificates and/or pictures of her with famous people do not question her as to "why" she isn't real. Also, does she think people do not see that her physical appearance changes from year to year (not in the natural aging process) and she has had plastic surgery. Guess she thinks if Michael Jackson can deny, so can she.”
Carson said, “At the time I left I don't remember seeing any phony pictures of Tae Yun - she went to some events that were hosted by or attended by celebrities, and she made sure she had her picture taken with them. She even told the story about how she saw Hilary Clinton at one event and chased her down to get a picture with her. Of course, this was after she had talked about how the Clinton's were crooks and liars. Funny, that. Sometimes I wondered if the reason she 'played both sides' politically was because she wanted to always have a way to be in the good graces of whoever was in power.”
bemused said, “COL members don't ask Tae Yun hard questions because if they do, she treats such questions as evidence that there is something wrong with their commitment, their insight, or their character, and she humiliates them for it. COL members put up with this treatment because they long for Tae Yun's praise, which Tae Yun excels at giving when she wants to. It's black and white: she either hates you or loves you, depending on whether you accept everything she tells you.”
Ryanbeld said, “or she'll say that the reason she lost was because I have too much "dark energy"...its so powerful.
“COL doesn’t ask questions because they came to "her life" searching. They all believe she is the answer. they've stopped questioning the world, themselves, her. I believe that once you stop questioning you admit to ignorance. For them it feels too good for it to be wrong. They substituted thinking with their brains for thinking with their hearts. Once you stop using your brain its easier for someone to manipulate it.
“If she had the answers she wouldn’t have jumped through 3.5 religions (the .5 is for her interpretation of the bible). If she is the answer, you've been looking at the wrong question. Vanity shouldn’t be an answer. And if anyone in col doesn't think she is vain...you'd have to explain the mansion, surgeries, titles, cars, celebrity photo-ops. And if you refuse to see what is physically around you, you are too far gone.”
Ryanbeld said, “I can't figure out who Sarah’s blog is written for. I mean, its obviously not for the public. Its written like a love letter to Kim; every entry in it. Any random member of the public would be turned off from it shortly after beginning to read it.
“It could be written for COL, but what would be the point. She can just say it all to them at the next class. Maybe it is written for her, maybe trying to justify to herself why she is there.
“It also could be written for us, because she does address certain things Sandra has said,. Although she still can't produce anything back up what she is saying. Its all emotional jargon. For real Sarah...I can write a more thought out defense of Kim. Keep posting though, I do enjoy reading it. Maybe through the art of writing you can discover more about yourself, I know I have.”
bemused said, “Sad to say, but I think Sarah K. is writing for the public, trying to present an alternative point of view to our thread. Trouble is, it's been so long since she's been part of the public that she forgets how the public thinks. I think you're right that she's justifying her life with Tae Yun to herself, but she may not be consciously aware of doing so.”
Shadow Dancer said, “Sarah and Mark are probably going to respond again with how awesome their workout was. Getting people revved up and then expending energy in repetitive motions is what kimmy does best.”
bemused said, “Often when a COL member expressed self-respect or did something for themselves without her consent, Tae Yun would say, "You so highly mighty!" COL members are supposed to get love from outside themselves, from Tae Yun. Sarah K. is letting Tae Yun manipulate her in the same basic way that her old boyfriend used to.
“I agree that self-love is important, but Tae Yun doesn't practice what she preaches, even for herself. If she loved herself, she wouldn't need so many plastic surgeries or so much attention and admiration.”
bemused said, “Going beyond the obvious, posts in the first thread alleged that Tae Yun threatened suicide to manipulate her instructors. Apparently, the short-lived cultmaster.com website showed a picture of her with scars on her wrists. The scars were across rather than down the wrist. The direction of the cuts may have indicated either an ignorance of anatomy or a desire for attention rather than death.
“A suicide attempt, whether faked or real, can indicate mental illness, such as depression, histrionic PD, or borderline PD (these two PDs are part of the same Cluster B group as antisocial and narcissistic). But whatever it indicates, it sure does not indicate self-love.”
bemused said, “Tae Yun claims to have spiritual gifts, much like the people Paul addressed in this epistle. Whether she actually has those gifts or not, they are not as important as love.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
“Tae Yun likes the trappings of wealth. She likes calling herself a philanthropist, but others have commented that she doesn't give all that much. Her "Make A Wish" charity event and others before it were probably done for PR purposes and not out of love, but that's just my opinion.
“Tae Yun is not patient. She gets angry when anyone in COL keeps her waiting or takes too long to do something. She can act kind when she wants to, but at other times she is very cruel.
“Tae Yun can feign humility for the public, but she gets angry not just at insults, but at compliments that she feels aren't good enough for her.
“Tae Yun routinely dumps verbal abuse on COL. If you apologize profusely for doing something wrong, she may forgive you in that moment, but she won't forget. She will bring it up later if she thinks you need to be humiliated again.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
“Tae Yun has lied about her past and tried to keep her abuses of employees and COL a secret. She has threatened and harassed those who brought the truth to light.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
“This is a tall order for anyone, but Tae Yun falls far short. She did not adequately protect the children in her care. She is distrustful even of her closest followers. Her hopes seem to be fame and fortune, not love. She says she continues to send love to those who leave her, but she erases them from her history except to criticize them, even if they leave nicely. She has often failed to do the obviously loving thing.
“But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
“Tae Yun's New Age career will pass by like all the others, unless she gets some especially bad press. The wisdom worth having is valuable regardless of who imparts it.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
“Tae Yun's temper tantrums are known to most of COL.
“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
“There are many ways to interpret this rather poetic verse. Here's the way I see it. To love another person is to know that person deeply, to see into their soul, to empathize with them. Tae Yun can size people up and manipulate them, she can tell them what they want to hear, but she can't really know or love them because she can't empathize.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Her faith is fickle, her hopes are shallow, and she cannot love.
Her Lesson said, “Sounds to me like she is hiding her atrocious behavior behind the Bible. As long as I have known her (not as long as all of you have) she has never walked her talk.
“She will have to account for all her abuses, lies and pain she has caused others. From what I hear, it is starting. Karma. Like in my dream, she will slowly disappear because without love she is nothing. If she thinks that her followers love her, she is very much mistaken. They may swear they do, but how can you love someone who abuses you, that is not true love, that is an sickness.”
Her Lesson said, “To tell you the truth, I have never seen a more sad bunch of people as the Col'ers that work at lws. Sarah is calling herself "sarahsmile" I have never seen anyone there smile, let alone look happy. They all look like deer in headlights, fear, exhaustion is more like it.
“Like it was posted before, they would rather take abuse then make their own choices. It is more difficult for them to admit they were wrong.”
“Questions for...Is the purpose of living all about gaining personal pleasures and treasures, or is it about soul growth, the attaining of spiritual insight and blessedness?
“You have at least heard that life is a school, but do you really look at the circumstances of your life, actually reflect upon them, to discern what they are teaching you, about you?
“Are you allowing a person given to finding fault, complaining (inwardly and outwardly) about your lot in life without ever considering the effects your thoughts, attitudes and actions have in shaping your life? Bible says, "by your own words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned".
“Life in the world is an obstacle course to the egos attempting to replace God (sounds like someone who calls themselves the second coming). God's nature is unconditional love, pure giving, and peace above all other endeavors. Does that sound like your master? I think not! So, it is not about being rich or poor as the world defines them but more about being in touch with what is truly valuable whether you are rich or poor.
“So, you will be happy when you surrender the impossible illusion which you are living and begin to cultivate the nature of God in yourself, putting love, patience and peace first in all you plan and all you do.”
Carson said, “Another passage from the Bible which Tae Yun uses to keep people from leaving states that once you clean your house seven demons will come to live there if you do not maintain. Tae Yun said that training with her was 'cleaning our house' (our soul), and if we left then we would be taken over by evil, that Satan was waiting for us to let down our guard.
“Nothing of the sort happened to me - quite the opposite. Once I was out from under her repression I felt so free and wonderful, so much more calm, caring, loving, patient, and giving. Once I was free of the person constantly trying to force me to be someone I wasn't, and trying to convince me that I was nothing without her, I was free to be me.
And as far as helping others - there are so many great programs and charities that need good help and support. A person can leave COL and Tae Yun and do so much more good for the world than will ever be done by Tae Yun herself.
“These are real charities, who turn the hard-earned money and work of their supporters into great benefits for others, not into a huge wardrobe and mansion for the person at the top.”
Carson said, “FYI - the 'Ideal" for women was/is bordering on anorexic. Some of the programs she put women on to lose weight were dangerous - such as one cup of soy milk and one handful of cereal a day for weeks or even months on end. At the end of one of these long programs KH had lost the weight that Tae Yun had required, but also all muscle tone and her skin was sagging - she looked older than my 75+ year-old mother at the time. And her skin lost all elasticity, as well. It was awful! Yet Tae Yun insisted that she looked great and instructed us all to say the same. I'm really surprised that no one has ended up in the hospital from one of these programs.
“There were several foods which women over the 'desired weight' were strongly discouraged from eating: breads, cheeses, peanut butter, most meats, to name just a few.”
bemused said, “Poor KH! (Karen Heart)? She's naturally big-boned for her height, so being a little stocky is normal for her. I thought she looked fine when I was in COL. Of all the women I knew in COL, only three were over the normal range: KK, CC, and JL. CC especially was dissed and scolded due to her weight.
“When I emerged from COL, I was anemic due to iron and B12 deficiencies. I also had adrenal exhaustion and zinc deficiency, so I got sick easily. I was slightly hypothyroid to begin with, but being in COL may have made it worse.
“To get enough iron, B12, and zinc, you either have to eat meat or take supplements. The thyroid and adrenal glands are sensitive to the overall quality of your diet.
“Tae Yun was much harder on the women's weight and diets. I can't remember any man being put on a diet specifically for weight loss, even though a few men had love handles. I think she disliked women and wanted to keep them as weak as possible.
bemused said, “The heart-related operation and stroke might have happened after I left, or maybe it was kept secret from me while I was there. I knew about Scott getting his hips replaced. CKC had physical symptoms that screamed hypothyroidism, but that may not have been her only problem. Sarah K. may have narcolepsy or she may just not be getting enough sleep. When I would get three hours or less, I would fall asleep in the middle of conversations.”
bemused said, “Just to clarify, women in COL were generally in the normal weight range, and while I was in COL none of them were noticeably underweight. KH's "program" occurred after I left. However, it is possible to be of normal weight, or even overweight, and be undernourished. For example, iron deficiency often causes a craving for carbs, which tends to cause weight gain but doesn't help the anemia and fatigue. I was anemic and found it hard to keep my weight down.”
Yeoman said, “Well, that is going a bit too far, although there seems to be no outer limits to Tae Yun Kim's insanity. Did she have the men strip down naked and parade themselves in front of a mixed group also? This contradicts what was posted about women not undressing in front of other women, but to turn away when putting on or taking off underwear so as not to be "provocative". I am getting a mixed message here.”
Kathy said, “She is so sick. Why would she do that, but to humiliate those she says she loves. I'm curious if the men had to do it too? I remember after I had my stomach surgery, during col class, she wanted me to show everyone where I had been cut open. I didn't want to show, I still had a drain in it. But I did. I just showed where I was cut open...not my whole body. She must feel that she has to take everyone's lack of respect for themselves away. She has to have total power over you. That is all I can think.
“I wonder if she lets everyone view her body in all it's glory? 8X10 glossies of that. Turn about is fair play. What she is really showing, is her true colors.
She needs more prayers than I thought.”
Kathy said, “Did she line up all the men outside her room to have their picture taken? But does she take pictures of their bodies, or only the females? If so, why only the females? Does she then show the pictures to the males to take apart the female? I believe she has a reason for all she does, even if it is only clear to her what that reason is. Another way to manipulate. That is what I get from what I have read about what she has done or is doing.”
Failed Student said, “I have been away for a few days and this post interested me.
“When I was under her sway, Tae Yun Kim would have a class with a student picked out at random who would go to the center of a circle that we formed. The student was told to take off his dobuk top, and we all had to comment on various features of his body, his energy, and so on.
“In one class, she picked on me, but I was damned if I was going to take off my dobuk top and stand there in the middle of a bunch of young men with just my bra on. So I kept my top on, but then Scott went to the farthest point in the room away from me. When called upon by Tae Yun, he stated my energy was bad and he was trying to get away from it. Another person, one of the newer students, seemed to like my energy, and he was "corrected" in his thinking. Tae Yun was implying that my female energy was negative, and that he shouldn't be drawn into it.
“So I guess the more things change, the more they stay the same. Tae Yun Kim just doesn't like females, and whether she realizes it or admits to it, she doesn't like herself either. Just as some Jews are the worst anti-Semites, Tae Yun Kim is the worst misogynist.”
Carson said, “I'm curious - I remember several years ago Tae Yun proclaiming a 'vision' that North and South Korea would be joined together as one nation in 2005. Does anyone know how she talked her way out of that one?
“I know at LWS she would make proclamations and when they did not come true, say that the COL members didn't work hard enough, or didn't do as she commanded, or harbored doubts and the 'negative energy' sabotaged the project - always an easy answer, but never results.”
Her Lesson said, “I'm not sure but I think it is all of the above and of course there is the "I'm dying" act and disappears for awhile and comes back with bigger boobs. That is what I don't understand, do they not expect anything from her and accept the responsibility for failure.”
bemused said, “I studied psychology in school and am interested in how people become as twisted as Tae Yun is. I'm also concerned that other vulnerable people might get sucked into her cult and that those already in who want to leave may be finding it hard to do so. For these reasons, Tae Yun is still of interest to me.
“But I have a life too, and as time passes my years in COL recede like a half-remembered bad dream. Yesterday my hubby and I had a little party. There was a lot of good music and conversation. We're planning a big architectural appreciation event for later this summer. We have our hobbies, interests, and creative pursuits. And so far we have our health and our jobs.
“As for spirituality, if God is omnipresent, then there is no special place or activity necessary for meeting or understanding God.
“If we are God's creation, then there is nothing we can do that is more sacred than to fulfill our potential and help others to do the same.”
Kathy said, “They both give the place 5 stars. Go figure. Oh well you know how they are. Most of us have been in the same spot they are. They are saving face for their "queen mother" second coming, so she thinks. I don't care what they say anymore myself. I know how much is the truth and what is lies. They live it now. I already went through it.
“I hope the number of people that get hurt by her are less. I feel I have posted and given as much as I can. The only part that really gets to me now is that she swears to be a good Catholic and she is not truly practicing the faith. But you know what? God knows and she can't use her broken English or her lies on him and I know that she will burn for eternity in hell. That was her choice. Tae Yun Kim you know what I am saying to be true. I love my God and my church and I know of his forgiveness, but what you are doing is worse than a mortal sin.”
Juliana said, “Not fearful, just busy trying to play catch up in life in order to make up for what Tae Yun took away. I'm looking forward till the truth comes out. Justice will be served one way or another....whether in court or cosmically, the universe has a way of balancing everything out. You should know that better than anyone Tae Yun.”
WhiteBear said, “Tae Yun is a grandmaster of thought control, deception and manipulation. She is the most greedy and self serving individual I have ever met. Tae Yun is a con-artist and a cult leader. If you don't believe me or if you are still there studying under her, do some research and you will see the truth about her. Try the International Cultic Studies Association or anything written by Margaret Singer, Ph.D, you will find that Tae Yun fits the classic cult leader description.
“Thank you to everyone who has shared their personal story.”
WhiteBear (a former student in COL) said, “Failed Student, after I read your post I can relate to the idea that Tae Yun may be getting some of her ideas from hearing stories from others. It is common for students want to share weird or out of the ordinary stories with Tae Yun. Especially news of the day and current events. It is a way to get her attention and if worthy enough, she will ask that you share it with the rest of the class. Then she will always find a way to weave it into her teaching somehow. Sometimes she will sit listening with that that strange look in her eye, where her right eye would open wider but keep looking down. I don't know if you remember...anyway, the "don't put ideas into my head" comment is one she has said, “ on more than one occasion. National Enquirer anybody?
“As far as ganging up on one particular student by the rest of the group, yes this is a common technique used by Tae Yun. I can remember being on both sides, in other words being the victim or at other times going along with her and the group in trying to convince some poor student that they are wrong. Whether you agree with Tae Yun or not, in those situations you had better jump on the bandwagon and repeat what ever her point was at the time. If not, the tides might turn and you could easily find yourself as the groups' next target. It is no fun getting verbally pounded by everyone, all your seniors and peers. Good for you Failed Student said, “ for holding out and not letting them get to you. Hanging on to your critical and independent thinking abilities is probably what saved you.
“I am sad for the times that I went along with Tae Yun to try to sway someone's mind even when I didn't agree with her and she was clearly wrong. I am truly sorry for having done that.
“That is what is wrong with being in a cult and doing what ever the leader (Tae Yun) says. I am not making excuses for my choices, I gave Tae Yun that authority over me (but never, never again).”
WhiteBear said, “Bemused, I think you are right, Tae Yun is beyond help. She may be unstoppable at this point. The best defense against her cult is to be informed about who she is and her selfish intentions. Hopefully anyone who crosses paths with her will find this website and discover many things that are not on her PR website, then draw their own conclusions or at least start to ask some questions.”
bemused said, “Brainwashing is basically the breaking down of identity and ego to instill loyalty, commitment, and obedience. It consists of confession sessions with unpredictable alternations of harsh punishments and leniency. Tae Yun's brainwashing occurred in what I call the Humiliation Rituals, in which she demanded confessions, insulted us where we were most sensitive, and generally broke us down mentally and emotionally.
“Sometimes she would commend us for honesty or forgive us instead, just to keep us wondering what she would do next.
“When we were new to the inner circle called COL, Tae Yun just asked us to sacrifice a few things that were important to us and to offer before and after testimonials of what her teaching did for us. This wasn't brainwashing, but it prepared us for brainwashing. She started with seemingly harmless requests and gradually turned up the heat until she was issuing unreasonable demands.
“Tae Yun didn't brainwash everyone in COL. She did reward those who were willing to be brainwashed with more individual attention, and with higher positions in Lighthouse and her PR machine. She seemed to know just how far she could push each person.
I was emotionally vulnerable and feared rejection. Tae Yun was able to get me through the first two stages of brainwashing, which are identity stripping and identification with the group. But I never reached the third stage, symbolic death and rebirth. I think this is because my mind was a lot tougher than my heart. I couldn't let go of who I was completely.
“Looking back, I realize that I was somewhat selective in my confessions. I would confess to sexual fantasies or interpersonal difficulties with other students, but I kept my doubts about Tae Yun's methods to myself. Before COL class, I would often think, "I hope we don't have another Humiliation Ritual. I'd really like to be able to sleep after class is over." But I never said, “ this, not even in my journal. Perhaps this learned deception protected my sanity in the end.”
WhiteBear said, “Bemused, what is the difference if any, between brainwashing and thought control? Tae Yun would say "They are saying that I am brainwashing you!" as if it was so absurd and yet there are some who speak up and say "Oh ma'am, I only wish you could brainwash me".
“Think about all her ways of screwing with our heads. There are so many as you have shared some with us. In Tae Yun's cult (COL), ours was such a noble spiritual path or so we thought. We believed we were making the world a better place, making a difference and helping those who are "lost and confused". Tae Yun convinced us that God told her what we should do and that her company Lighthouse Worldwide Solutions is "God's Project".
You mentioned not telling all in your journal and what you really thought of some of Tae Yun's teaching. Each of us has done this at one time or another. Can you imagine what kind of class we would have if we had truly expressed every time we thought Tae Yun's teaching or methods were a little wacky or if we questioned anything?
“On rare occasion someone would speak their mind in their journal going against Tae Yun or question her and believe me, we heard about it soon after. Tae Yun would scream "can you believe (so and so) said, “ (this or that)? " and then go on one of her famous rants. The entire COL class would then each share how wrong that person was (even when we didn't agree but just to say what Tae Yun wants to hear). These types of things I would define as mind control or thought control. What 's your take?”
bemused said, “A class in which everyone said, “ what they really thought, in which they found themselves somehow unable to kiss up, would have been quite entertaining, but Tae Yun would have really gotten pissed off. Something like it did happen in one class. I didn't witness it, but others have posted about it on earlier parts of this thread. Tae Yun asked JW to imitate her. He did so, calling people forward and yelling at them. He did such a good parody that the class started laughing. Tae Yun got so upset that she started beating people who were laughing with her stick.
WhiteBear said, “Bemused said, the class where JW imitated Tae Yun was a classic. He did order people around and yell at them, just like she does. You have to give him credit for that, others were told to imitate her but denied in the name of being too humble. Actually they were too afraid to sit in her chair. JW had the courage to do it. I look forward to the day a full length movie comes out to expose the true legacy of Tae Yun. Who will be beaten by her stick when that happens?
Failed Student said, “WhiteBear - You mentioned not telling all in your journal and what you really thought of some of Tae Yun's teaching. Each of us has done this at one time or another. Can you imagine what kind of class we would have if we had truly expressed every time we thought Tae Yun's teaching or methods were a little wacky or if we questioned anything?
“On rare occasion someone would speak their mind in their journal going against Tae Yun or question her and believe me, we heard about it soon after. Tae Yun would scream "can you believe (so and so) said, “ (this or that)? " and then go on one of her famous rants. The entire COL class would then each share how wrong that person was (even when we didn't agree but just to say what Tae Yun wants to hear). These types of things I would define as mind control or thought control. What 's your take?
“Apparently Tae Yun Kim needs grist for her mill, and every journal entry had the potential to give her ammunition to go at and tear down her students. I think this is what she feeds on and what keeps her going. She belittles others so that she can become the master of the situation. On a small scale or a large scale, this is what is happening. Everything that is done or thought by an individual and shows initiative or independent thought must be invalidated by her so that she, and only she, can control the situation and her world. Just like Mugabe, just like Stalin, just like Saddam Hussein, Just like Hitler, just like any tyrant that had an unhappy childhood and feels a need to lash out at others in order to be important.”
Bemused said, “I thought I'd contribute a bit more on brainwashing. A hormone and neurotransmitter called oxytocin aids new bonding, such as that of a mother to her newborn child or infatuated lovers to each other. …
She went on to explain the role the chemical plays in the brain, like a kind of ‘soap’ it clears out the old identity so a new one can go in.
“Given the importance of stress in addition to punishment, I'm thinking that stressors like sleep deprivation are part of brainwashing after all, though not sufficient by themselves.
“I'm posting all this technical info to show just how damaged we were. The emotional abuse and manipulation we were subjected to combined with the stressful environment were like a very powerful drug. And even the good times, when we had parties or when Tae Yun praised us, were part of her invasion of our minds.
“It is very common for former cult members to have PTSD symptoms. There is even a new diagnosis, Complex PTSD, which applies to people who survived captivity, such as former prisoners, hostages, abused spouses, and cult members. Standard PTSD is typically caused by one intense traumatic event, while Complex PTSD is caused by a series of less intense traumatic events.
“The essence of PTSD is phobic triggers, reminders of trauma that cause flashbacks and anxiety when they can't be avoided. I have only a few of these, but they're biggies: authoritarian or egotistical leaders; churches, even liberal ones; and New Agey writings, meditation, crystals, candles, etc. I used to react to Korean accents, but I think I've gotten over that one.”
WhiteBear said, “Has anyone seen JP's blog on MySpace? It is quite insightful into the mind of someone who has grown up under TKY's rule. Here is the first part of an entry written on July 1st titled: "Sickening..."
"Living life as a juvenile, innocent, and only caring for things that are fun and exciting...are slowly starting to drift away. Life as an adult is presented, and as I grow, so do others. Life is beautiful, but there are things that are tainted within it...people and their own selfishness."
"Lately, I've been experiencing a series of events with people demonstrating again and again how those, without principles, back stab, and totally dishonor everything about themselves and others. After each event that happens, it makes you lose hope in people. You lose the trust because you're afraid. Afraid to give, afraid to help."
“He wrote more, specifically about Tae Yun but even looking at what he wrote here, it is obvious that someone (other than he) has awakened to the truth about Tae Yun. He doesn't understand why. Where he talks about tainted and selfish people, this is exactly how TKY paints people who have left or have stood up to her. JP talks about no principles, back stabbing and lack of honor yet he doesn't realize that it is his master that is all these things.
“It's too bad that he doesn't loose trust in her instead of in helping others. Thankfully the other kids who spent time with Tae Yun (full time cult members) managed to get out and learn about real life without her. They can make their own decisions and live free.
MP, we know you are reading this. It is not too late to get yourself and your son away from Tae Yun's clutches. You of all people see through her BS. JP is amazing in spite of, not because of Tae Yun. Your family will support you. Tell JP the truth. Yes, Tae Yun has promoted him from black belt to 4th degree black belt in order to keep him but he can use his training in many ways beyond Jung Suwon.
He probably didn’t write it though.
Failed Student said, “White Bear - I seriously doubt that JP wrote that . More likely, Tae Yun Kim told him what to write, and what with all the privileges he has been given, he went along with it unquestioningly.
“The term "back stab" is one that she used on numerous occasions, and as I continued to read your post, I believe JP is just her mouthpiece. I think that all our truthful posts have in fact gotten to her, and she is lashing out.
“I also believe she is starting to condition him into letting go of all those privileges and become another one of her mindless followers.
“In my experience, she was nice to me until she got her claws into me and started draining my resources, financial, physical, and emotional. When I started to draw away, then things got rough, and she threw back at me everything I had said, “ in confidence to her and publicly humiliated me, both here and when she got to California. Not only that, she insulted my family, based on erroneous assumptions. She does not let go easily, because ever person that leaves her weakens her power base and is a potential threat, as they can infect those still under her influence but maybe having doubts.”
Failed Student said, “I recall an incident where I alone differed with Tae Yun Kim.
“She had a picture of a lioness with a cub, which she was carrying gently by the scruff of it's neck. Tae Yun asked what we saw in the picture, and I said, “ that I saw a lion cub that wanted to play but was brought back to the den or wherever by the mother. Tae Yun said, that the lioness was crying because the cub had left and she was bringing it back. Everyone but myself agreed with that interpretation.
“As a scientific fact, lions probably do have tear ducts, but I don't know whether they have the capability of crying. That's really not the issue. What is at issue is that my interpretation was slammed down as wrong and that only her interpretation was correct.
I still say the cub wanted to play and be free. Anyone see the analogies here?”
WhiteBear said, “JP's official Jung Suwon business card states his title as: Black Belt, 4th Degree Instructor. Keep in mind he was promoted above others who have been training as black belts much longer and as far as we can tell, he skipped the first 3 stripes and any kind of public testing (only from red to black a few years ago).
“Tae Yun always said that since she founded the art, she can promote whom ever she wants, when ever she wants and for any reason she wants. There could be any number of reasons why she promoted JP as she did. Maybe because he is working full time at her school. A few years back, after the whole Martial Arts Federation (or what ever name she used) came about, Tae Yun brought together her black belts and asked them if they would like an "official certificate" to make their black belt rank authentic and recognized outside of Jung Suwon. She said she knew a very old grandmaster who might not live much longer and could have the certificates issued for a mere $5,000. I wondered since she offered this to her students, was she implying that their Jung Suwon certificates were not credible? I don't know of any black belt who took the offer, probably because they did not have that kind of money.”
Shadow Dancer said, “Kimmy, I want to know what you feel people should be so grateful to you for. What is it that you think you did for them? What lessons did you allegedly teach them that is worth all that they gave up for you? When people finally crawl away from your clutches, what do they take with them? They gave up everything for you and they leave with nothing (or less than nothing if they went into debt for you). So come on kimmy... tell us all about what you feel is worth so much. It's easy to see what other do for you. You live in a palace, have a Mercedes, are waited on hand and foot. Anything your greedy little heart (if you have one) desires, it is provided for you. You are like a monkey who sees shiny baubles and can't resist grabbing them with both fists.
“Name a single person who got your fangs out of their neck and left with more than when they came in. You are nothing more than a parasite. "Everybody say 'Wa'.. 'Parasite'!
WhiteBear said, “Great post Shadow Dancer and we wish we could hear Tae Yun 's answer but that probably won't happen any time soon. Maybe if her followers read this post to her, she can later reflect on how greedy and cruel she is.
“Gratitude is a one way street with Tae Yun. Everyone is to be grateful to her yet she shows no gratitude to those that have sacrificed tremendously and spent years of their lives on her insatiable demands.”
WhiteBear said, “Tae Yun is a grandmaster of thought control, deception and manipulation. She is the most greedy and self serving individual I have ever met. Tae Yun is a con-artist and a cult leader. If you don't believe me or if you are still there studying under her, do some research and you will see the truth about her. Try the International Cultic Studies Association or anything written by Margaret Singer, Ph.D, you will find that Tae Yun fits the classic cult leader description.”
Kathy Kim said, “TKD times, she is friends with them. Every article you read isn't true. When I was there at COL, someone from COL would write the article for TKD times and they would just print it. Whatever sells magazines. Maybe on the outside things look good. But when you get inside you find out the real truth. Some people turn the other cheek and don't see anything, because that is their bread and butter you are talking about. But when the truth comes out legally, then you will know. We aren't up here on the boards just wasting our time and trying to make up stories. We've all been hurt, some more than others. We are reaching out to those that have left, those wanting to leave, trying to help them. Even when you are part of COL, you think you know the other col members. But when that COL member leaves, they are suddenly, poo. Everything they did was wrong or bad or for some ulterior motive. Everyone? Nope.
“The part about betraying the person that you are closest to or being betrayed by them.....I admit, I betrayed her. Because she was wrong in what she was doing. If the party didn't think that she betrayed him, and still wanted to stay with her, fine. But it was my moral responsibility to tell him. I have to live with myself. If I had it to do over again, I would still do it.
“Sure it was nice living in a nice home, driving fancy cars. But I gave her everything I had. My morals had a limit. I could not let her play God and hurt a man my son's age. I wouldn't be party to it.
“And I had it easy compared to what everyone else went through. We all just want to help keep the numbers down that she does hurt. By at least making them aware of what she is really like.”
WhiteBear said, “Shinobi Osiris, yours is a great question. I believe that it will all come out someday as there are too many who know the truth about her. It will make for a great story but more importantly, it will stop her from continuing her con and hurting others, destroying families and stealing money and inheritance from kind, innocent and trusting people.
“Kathy I will share as I can. You are right about everything in COL. When anyone leaves, they are labeled basically as evil. Tae Yun says that when people leave, they eventually turn against her because they are living a miserable life and have to blame someone, so its her. She says those who are out could never admit that they made a mistake and so, they lash out at Tae Yun and COL. We all know that this isn't true. Frankly, when you get out, you have a new and different perspective of how life is in COL and you see very clearly that it is indeed a cult. That is why bullshido is forbidden, it gives those still there a glimpse of what life is like on the outside. At the same time, bullshido allows an opportunity to compare notes about COL life and that is something you cannot do while you are there.
“You did what was right those many years ago.”
Kathy said, “Thank you White Bear. I wish I would of acted before I did. But it is hard to leave her influence, what makes you feel is family. But that is something that I am so glad that I did. But I am no angel. I did things to make her happy, to do what she wanted me to do. But I never intentionally hurt anyone. I did snoop with someone else on their mate, but I didn't do that on my own. EAS knows what I am talking about. I would never have gone and threatened anyone like she had done to me. Or break windows, slice tires, write dirty notes. Tape and play back parts of tapes she wants you to hear.
“I have to say that I truly cared about my col brothers and sisters. Not having a family as a kid, I considered everyone my family. But it is hard to care and think others care about you...then you follow what you think is best....and bam....Mudd...or should I say cockroach? I never knew Failed Student said, “ before, when I was there...but she said, “ nothing but bad about her...then after I left and met her and found out the truth....She is really a nice lady, someone else that was a victim of Tae Yun's for a while. So her history goes way back. There are people that can document many stages of her life. Not the made up story that she has made to suit her. The more that speak out, the better. But I realize some have to hold back for a bit. But it will come out.”
Failed Student said, “Well, I guess I should be flattered that Tae Yun Kim thought so much of me she couldn't stop talking about me, even after she left Vermont. In addition to her fabrications about me, did she also mention what I had done for her? How I bailed out her family, contributed to her legal defense fund when she was indicted by the Feds, saved her sorry ass when she had a problem pregnancy, lent her and her family money when they asked for it, worked my butt off doing the carpentry etc of putting together her school - ATC - and also contributed to the family's faux Buddhist temple...which by the way asked for cash, not checks.
“For all my efforts and hard work, I received no thanks, just that it was expected of me, and when I spoke up in defense of myself and refused to divest myself entirely of everything I owned, she had no further use for me and threw me to the dogs.
“Of course she's going to trash me - she knows I am one of a very few that remember her Vermont antics and she doesn't want that to cling to her any more than she'd like a piece of used toilet paper trailing behind her. She doesn't want anyone to know about her bull.
“Bringing up my name in California where I wasn't known was a two edged sword. Because she defamed me, obviously there were those who were curious about me, and one succeeded in contacting me, and now I am involved and committed to the extent of having made contact with other exes with whom I shared information.”
Kathy Kim said, “Thanks Failed Student for writing about "what you did do for her" Us ex col'ers know what we have given and done for her. Those new reading the boards don't know what we have done. As a matter a fact, the new col from CA never knew anyone that had done her right and then she turned against them. I know what you speak of and know that it is the truth. She makes whoever leaves seem like a monster, when in fact she is the monster. Those that have been hurt and taken advantage of should speak up so others will know. Don't let her continue to get away with what she has done and is doing. Even the much loved instructors who are no longer there, they gave up a lot of hard work, money and years of their lives. I know I wish them all well that have left her. Let's make this the time to put an end to misconceptions of what being with her and part of her col really is and how our experiences really were. I remember when this thread was first started it was stated, if this just saves one person, it is worth it. I'm so happy to see that many more than One has left her clutches or bypassed her completely.
Rossanna said, “A very reliable source told me that she paid between $30-35K each time she was featured in the cover of TKD Times. It is said, that this was standard practice for her to pay big bucks to get an article written about her or a cover feature on her to further the press she puts about herself about how famous she is and how everyone knows her and wants to train under her. …
“I don't know about people wanting to train under her but she got the fame thing right on the money now that you can Google her and actually find a balance between the positive and negative press on her. When the Inside Edition feature came out in the late 90's, Kim managed to divert, even suppress the truth by hiring an image consultant to help with damage control. Nowadays, those who worked the hardest at preserving her "myth" are no longer with her and since a lot of the exes have come forward to speak their piece, I would like to believe that there is now enough intel on her for people to make learned decisions about whether to stay with her, or leave her, train with her or keep away from her.
“The responsibility now lies in the hands of the people who make the decision. The time of blind faith and gullibility are a thing of the past. Whatever press she may put out about herself and about those who speak against her, both sides of the story are now in plain view of anyone who wants to know what they are getting into. That being the case, looking forward, no one can ever again claim that "I didn't know".”
bemused said, “WhiteBear - There are more interesting comments that JP posted under the "sickening..." entry. I believe that Failed Student said is on to something with her take on JP. It is amazing how Tae Yun hasn't changed in her ways after all these years.
It's sad that all JP can do is regurgitate propaganda. He isn't specific about what sort of "help" Tae Yun gave to people. He isn't even specific about the grievances people have against Tae Yun. It's all vague language about being grateful and not saying anything negative. What he seems to mean by "honor" is rather childish: not being a snitch. On the playground, you're not supposed to tell the yard duty teacher about the bully. In the adult world, however, verbal and physical abuse are considered crimes and are punished.
“JP may not have seen much of Tae Yun's bad side yet, because she is probably treating him well. She knows he can draw young people into her school, so she doesn't want to lose him. I hope Tae Yun isn't trying to seduce him. What a waste of a young life that would be.”
bemused said, “Shadow, it's nice to see you posting again. What Kimmy sells are promises and illusions. She finds out what you feel you are missing in your life and then promises to give it to you. She was also pretty good at acting the part of an Eastern mystic before she messed up her face. She preys on emotionally vulnerable people who want to believe her when she tells them what they want to hear. As a depressed 25-year-old reeling from a series of romantic disappointments, I fell for it.
“For ten years of my life, I gave her everything I could give another human being. I gave her my labor, often free and always cheap. I gave her nearly everything I earned. I gave her more love than I gave my family. I gave her my fidelity, even when I was supposedly engaged. I didn't go anywhere or do anything without her permission. I told her almost everything in my journal, holding back only those few doubts I couldn't even admit to myself. I delayed my musical pursuits. I sacrificed the years when I still could have had children. I slept on the floor of her house, ate her food, wore her hand-me-downs. Her world was my religion, family, livelihood, community, and circle of friends.
I left with little more than an old car and some clothes. I had damaged family relationships and only one friend. At 35 I had to start all over as if I had just left college for my first job in a strange town.
“Most teachers are proud of the accomplishments of their former students. In public, Tae Yun tries to pretend her former students don't exist. In private, she badmouths them, even if they left nicely.”
bemused said, “For those of you joining the discussion late, Interior Design Nutritionals (IDN) is a division of the infamous "network marketing" (pyramid scheme) company Nu Skin. Tae Yun wanted to set a record for becoming a Blue Diamond in the organization circa 1994, and she recruited all of her COL students, plus many regular Jung Suwon students, to do it.
“From what I could tell, many of the IDN products were good. I liked their vitamins. Their nutrition (glorified candy) bars didn't seem any better than what you can find at a health food store. I didn't like their marketing methods, which I thought were manipulative and sleazy.
“It surprises me that a con artist like Tae Yun can fall for other people's cons so easily. But maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. Those who create their own alternate Reality might find all alternate Realityies more or less interchangeable and sometimes merge able. If you have no objective standard for truth, the only thing that makes one lie better than another is pure self-interest. So Tae Yun fell for it when an IDN distributor did what she does so well: he told her what she wanted to hear.”
Jacob said, “I just played a little catch up. The whole narcissistic personality disorder makes sense. I always wonder what comes first the person or the cult... and it makes sense, you need the right person to make the cult. Thank you for posting about that.”
Failed Student said, “It was my experience that after I was suspended/expelled from ATC, Tae Yun kept calling me and leaving messages on my phone, trying to get me to talk with her. For the most part, I ignored the calls, but finally I agreed to meet with her and for a short time afterward I took private lessons from her in the basement of her house. She tried in vain to get be to train again at ATC but I held fast.
“To make a long story short, I decided not to get lured back into her world, having to suck up to the likes of Scott and Michael F., and of course, give her any more money.
“I am ashamed to admit that she did get a relatively small amount of money from me for the private lessons, but now that I see that others had similar experiences, I can forgive myself for this weakness on my part.
“Once she realized that she wasn't going to get me back into her sphere of influence, she had a hissy fit, and shortly afterward, moved to California with her retinue. From reports I received from my deceased friend, LE, she left Vermont with a considerable amount of money, and I guess I denied her additional funds by not returning.
“I believe the reason I took those private lessons from her was that I still wanted to train and get a black belt. Once I got over this attachment to the belt, I moved on. I had no attachment to her or her sycophants however.”
bemused said, “I didn't get drawn back in, but I left in stages. I left Lighthouse 10/98, full-time COL 11/98, part-time COL 1/99, and regular Jung Suwon martial arts classes 8/99. As crazy as I realized Tae Yun's world was, it was still hard to let go of something into which I had invested 10 years of my life.
“I earned my black belt in 1995, and when I got over the initial sense of accomplishment, I was disappointed that this did not automatically earn me a place in Tae Yun's innermost circle. Tae Yun's real ranking system is based on kissing up, not on merit. This was hard for me to get, and it was disillusioning when I finally got it.
“After reading some of the Bullshido forums about martial arts value vs. BS, I'm not sure how much my black belt is really worth. We did spar without stopping. We did face multiple opponents. We did learn some techniques beyond punching and kicking, such as how to roll, fall, and throw in a few ways. We also learned some ways to break out of certain holds. But I don't remember learning how to defend against weapons or what to expect on the street. Fortunately I've never had to put what I learned to the test, and I hope I never do.”
bemused said, “Her Lesson - What is it with them and constantly switching partners?
“Okay, I'll indulge in a little gossip. To be fair, some changing of partners is not uncommon in small, intense groups. But Tae Yun's talk of "purity" makes such antics hypocritical.
“EAS's (Gabi Gatov or Erika Sommer) marriage and family (the Gatovs) were broken up when they all joined COL, and EAS was later paired up with Scott (Scott Salton). From what I've heard, EAS was happier about this initially than Scott was. They have been together for many years. EAS calls Scott "Sir." Chicabonita said, “ has pointed out that EAS (her mom) filed tax returns as "single" even after her marriage ceremony (conducted by Tae Yun) to Scott.”
“Michael F. (Michael Fell) was paired with AP for years, but then became involved with KS briefly. AP and KS left COL within months of each other. A year or two later, Michael F. and KW got together and then got married. After a few years, they got divorced. Previous posts mentioned that Michael F. was due to inherit a lot of money under the condition that he was married.
“KW was with another instructor, DKP, (David Pariseau) for many years. DKP left in about 1994.
“TCS (Tom Saunders) and Sarah K. (Sarah Kim) got together early in Sarah K.'s training and are still together more than a decade later. They are probably Tae Yun's biggest success story as far as relationships go. But Sarah K. still calls TCS "Sir."
“I don't know much about Mark, (Mark Amador) but a previous post by Chicabonita said, “ stated that he has been associated with at least three different women. Juliana said, “ was one of the "unauthorized" ones, and she has quite a tale to tell about her punishment in part 1 of this thread.
“The saga of Adam G (Adam Giandomenico) and Tae Yun has been touched upon. Adam G has also been associated with three other women that I know of during his time in COL.
“Tae Yun paired up MT (Michael Thomas) and JC, even though both had doubts, but when they went "too far" Tae Yun got upset. They were damned if they did and damned if they didn't.
“I was with CA (Clark Anderson) for about six years while in COL. We did little more than kiss. In fact, we rarely talked. We really tried to play by Tae Yun's rules. Soon after I discovered Bullshido I found a journal entry in which CA confessed to hiring prostitutes while working in Asia. It was dated less than a year after we broke up.
“I think Tae Yun likes to keep control of people's relationships because she's paranoid about possible mutinies. Tae Yun also likes to ration pleasure, which is part of her sadistic streak.”
bemused said, “And then there's Tae Yun. She was married to AF for nearly 20 years, then involved with MM, SE, Adam G, and possibly others. Before coming to America, she was allegedly "bobbing the knob for money" as Chica so eloquently put it.
I don't really care who her partners were. What bothers me is that she pretended to be pure and insisted that her followers be pure. She would have done better as a sex guru. At least she would have been more honest.
Shadow Dancer said, “The kimster likes to have others believe that she is a master or grandmaster. She would occasionally show movies to the COL'ons displaying how a student should act around a master. Yet, she never acted with the class and dignity of a master. If you look at the old Kung Fu movie, or "The Quest", or the Karate Kid movies that she would compare our situation against, her actions bore no resemblance to those of the 'teacher'. The movie masters were the protectors. They lived humbly. They were loyal to their students. They didn't boast or seek publicity. Yet, look at kimmy! She is apparently the biggest 'glory/honor/awards/celebrity slut on the planet. Everything is about 'her'. Her loyalty to her students is purely based on whether they can provide something for 'her'. She seeks to add followers so that she can get more out of life... not so that their lives are improved.
“Come-on COL... even at your own testing, the focus was purely on her and how 'awesome' she is. Your hard work and your moment in the spotlight was only there to focus more attention on her. When you signed up in the beginning, did you really want a drama queen for a master? Is she the image of a 'master' that she likes to paint for you? Look at her! How is she acting like all of the role models she has you watch? Does she treat you with the respect/dignity/loyalty that the 'movie-masters' treated their students? Why is it so one sided?”
bemused said, “Some people can get sucked back in even if they've been out for a while. CC and MG got sucked back into Lighthouse. I once met a former Moonie who still believed in Moon, who thought Moon's followers had misunderstood his teaching and was waiting for the group to be "reformed" so he could rejoin. This was years after he had left.
“Disillusionment with the cult and satisfaction with post-cult life are what make people resistant to going back. I don't know much about KW's situation, but if she isn't happy right now she could be vulnerable to Tae Yun's combination of self-pity and sweet talk.”
Carson said, “KW was a part of COL from the time she was a teenager. She went through college while living in COL, worked for a short time at a semiconductor firm (under Tae Yun's 'guidance'), then joined LWS full-time. She has almost no experience living on her own away from Tae Yun's influence - I would it expect it to be very difficult to break away in that situation. I was lucky - I was nearly 30 when I joined and had been on my own since age 17, worked my way through college, graduated top of my class with my bachelor's and an MBA –
“I knew, in spite of what Tae Yun said and tried to convince me, that I could make it on my own. And once I finally decided to leave I was able to get myself on the track to self-sufficiency quickly. For someone who has not been on their own as an adult, who only knows Tae Yun's way, who has no proof that they are capable without Tae Yun's 'guidance', will find it very hard to leave and stay away - the difficulties and self-doubts will drive them right back to Tae Yun's control.”
Shadow Dancer said, “I remember when kimmy's marriage to SE was annulled on the grounds of her committing fraud. She went back and told COL how the judge was so appalled at SE's actions that he annulled the marriage in 'HER' favor. The only problem with that stinky fish tale is that judges don't create a non-existing lawsuit for her and then award her the gold-medal. Since she had never counter-sued, she could not receive a judgment in her favor. Also, SE wanted the annulment... not her. She fought to keep her 'share' of the fat family fortune she thought she had lucked into. She lost the case but was carried on the shoulders of the instructors back to COL as the victorious conqueror. I wonder what bull she is spreading on the COLons this time.”
bemused said, “I remember the SE situation, the BB situation, and the Inside Edition situation.
“After the SE (Spencer Eccles) situation, Tae Yun went around acting heartbroken for a while, SE's coach didn't consult Tae Yun anymore, and Kathy was branded a traitor. COL business went on as usual, and Lighthouse took off with their LMS product.
“After the BB (Brooke Bullenger) situation, a lawyer coached us on what to say if the media approached us, and we were asked to state on video how much we loved being in COL. This was during COL's heyday, so the suit probably didn't affect Tae Yun's finances too badly.
“There wasn't a mass exodus from COL until the Inside Edition situation in 1998. A group of part-timers who were all friends before they joined COL left, and a handful of full-timers (including myself) started having serious doubts as well. Lighthouse, COL, and the Jung Suwon martial arts school survived but were all seriously disrupted.
It seems to me that Tae Yun can successfully deliver BS to COL about private lawsuits, and she's loaded enough that they don't affect her much. She has a tougher time shielding COL from and fighting negative publicity.”
Carson said, “For several years before I left I was questioning Tae Yun's actions more and more. I was privy to some of her lies, and I started wondering - if I know these things she says aren't true, what about the things that I don't know anything about? But I agonized about leaving - what if the things she said, “ about what my life would be like were true? I had nothing - my bank accounts were cleaned out, credit cards maxed out, credit rating tanked, and I had only worked for her for so many years, how would I find another job? But then she finally did something that I couldn't take - the last straw, and I packed my car and left. Even then I waffled back and forth. But when I finally was gone and I decided I wasn't going back, my life took a dramatic turn for the better. All sorts of good things fell into place - I was able to find a good job (paying twice what I got at LWS for half as many hours), wonderful things came to be in my personal life, and I was even able to pay off all my debt! I really love my life now, and it is MY LIFE - not some life designed by Tae Yun to fit her mold. She preaches that we all have to be ourselves, but that only counts if you are not one of her followers - COL has to fit her ideal, whether it was 'being ourselves' or not. Now that I am truly free to be myself, my life is wonderful.
The first step of leaving is heart-wrenching - and you may doubt for days, weeks, months - but it is not the end of your life - it is truly a new beginning (not the fake new beginning that Tae Yun promises and never delivers)
“Anyone who is thinking about leaving or has left and needs some mental, emotional, or spiritual support can contact me, or stop by and visit! The Central Coast of California is beautiful this time of year (and just about all the time).”
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