Failed Student said, “Bemused - I am glad you saw through Tae Yun Kim and had the strength to hold to your goals, albeit delayed for way too long. You knew what you wanted to do with your life, and that did not include subservience to Tae Yun. Separating from her and COL and JSW is not an instantaneous event, it's a process whereby you wean yourself away. That is how it was for me also. coming to the realization that being part of her group was not what I wanted to do with my life. I felt myself in a tug of war with her, and the more she tried to pull me away from my familiar world, the more I had to pull from my end. Apparently your separation came without sequelae. I am glad no one pursued you or sent you a threatening letter.. Maybe you didn't pose a danger to her plans.
Failed Student said, “Speaking of gross incidents, let me relate what happened to me one night at the dojang. I was feeling poorly and had a hard time breathing. (It turned out later I had a bad case of pneumonia, which kept me out of training for about six weeks).
“Madame (Kim) took me into her office and made some scalding hot tea. She had me lie down on my back and she drank some of the tea and then transferred it into my mouth, whereupon I gagged, choking both because of the concept of what she was doing and the super hot liquid and having it forced down my throat. Even thinking about this now makes me want to retch.
“Now that I know more of her activities in California, I am fortunate I didn't get anything that would have required a super dose of penicillin to cure.”
Bemused said, “Chica, When people make important commitments, they find ways to justify them in order not to seem inconsistent or mistaken. When those commitments are seriously challenged, you would think people would reconsider them, but exactly the opposite typically occurs. The stronger the challenge, the stronger the justification they invent to answer the challenge, especially if to admit a mistake means taking moral responsibility for it. A really good book on self-justification came out recently, called "Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts" by Tavris and Aronson.
“Your mom is justifying her decision to stay in COL partly because questioning it would bring a heavy burden of guilt regarding you and your brother. Knowing this may not change anything, but it may help you understand her actions. It's too bad Tae Yun has told her, directly or indirectly, to choose between her commitment to COL and her children.
“I always liked your mom. She was like a big sister to me. I wouldn't try to talk her out of COL either. I would only hope that she and the others still in COL would openly object to any abuse they suffer or witness. But as frightened and unable to speak freely as they are conditioned to be, that's not likely.
“I don't think you need to feel sorry for anything. If your mom and Tae Yun can't handle the truth about what they did and how you feel about it, that's their problem, not yours.”
Failed Student said, “Kathy - Another point about signing papers.
“That may be Tae Yun's way of covering her butt if anyone decides to sue her.
When I left ATC but was still taking a few private lessons from Tae Yun, she tried to get me to come back and train at the dojang. I told her I wasn't going back there and she asked me to put that and the reasons why down in writing. I told her I wasn't writing another anything for her. Had I done so, she would have some kind of palpable proof that I left of my own volition, and that would have obviated her culpability in suspending me.
When I did leave my private lessons with her rather in a huff, she asked me not to say anything about all these matters to her brother. That I did in short order. He then tried to recruit me to his Moo Gong Do, but I wasn't interested in training with him either.
Bemused said, “Chica, I appreciate your sympathy for what I went through. I didn't fit in with the other women. Your mom and KW tried not to play favorites, JC and I had sort of a love-hate relationship, with CC and CW I felt comfortable, HW and I usually got along and liked to stretch together, and in you I saw a lot of myself when younger, but that's about it for the positive relationships. Kathy and I didn't get along, but I'm willing to forgive and move on. Sarah K. had no respect for me and made no secret of it, and I tried not to interact much with the other women. To be fair, I didn't get along with the men that well either, but I didn't have conflicts with them as much because I didn't live with them. A lot of the discord was due to Tae Yun actively preventing friendships from forming, though.
“Yes, I tried to defend myself when Tae Yun criticized me, but I think Tae Yun couldn't distinguish disagreement from hostility. Students were supposed to just bow their heads and say, "Yes, ma'am, sorry ma'am." When she seemed about to lose a rational argument from anyone, her favorite thing to say, with deep sarcasm, was, "You're too smart for me." Reason is a dangerous thing, because it can often be used to get to the truth.
“I hate cliques and always have. To this day I won't join one. But people have a right to form them. Tae Yun was just paranoid about people possibly forming alliances against her.”
Bemused said, “I did sign some things because I felt pressured to and because I tried to leave in a "nice" way. (Looking back I wish I'd been more openly pissed off.) Legitimate businesses have people sign non-disclosure agreements, but these pertain only to trade secrets, not to office gossip.
“Legitimate businesses also conduct exit interviews where they try to get feedback on how to do better and retain employees. Legitimate clubs, churches, gyms, and social organizations don't make people sign anything upon leaving. That they wanted me to sign something was, in itself, a sign that something was and is amiss.”
Kathy Kim said, “Bemused: I'm sorry you thought we didn't get along. I felt it was just that we were so different from each other. Like I said, I had a lack of tact when I did things. But I never disliked you, or singled you out. But it doesn't say much for me not even knowing what kind of work you did. Indifference can be just as bad as treating someone bad. Maybe it was because we are such strong women, but we were also from different generations. I was old school. But I was always one to speak my mind too. When maybe I should kept quiet about some things. Tae Yun liked to say things about each of us to each one of us. Especially if she thought we were getting too close. She wants you to be close with someone till you get them to join or she gets what she wants out of them. Then she puts that doubt of how they really are in you. Actually we were all made to be recruiters.
“Chica's dad and I were always at each other's throat. But things are different now. By all of us being able to talk, we have compared notes and know of the things that Tae Yun had us do. Now we know the real story and we are together in bringing the truth to light, Those of us that she pitted, which is really a mild word, against each other have joined to bring all the truth out. Just some can't be posted yet.”
Kathy said, “Heck when I left col I started drinking. I used to get drunk and make all kinds of calls. I was so drunk I didn't remember most of what I said. I'm sure she played those tapes to you guys too, or at least the part she wanted you to know. It was hard to leave, it is for most because you have made Tae Yun and col and all your life. You are so deeply immersed. It is like losing your family. Drinking was my crutch. I finally got my fill of it.”
bemused said, “Kathy Kim - I appreciate your apology. I'm sure I wasn't always nice to you either. And yes, now that we're not pitted against each other and can talk freely, we can work things out.
bemused said, “Another former COL member works at the same large company as I do. When we've crossed paths, we've exchanged pleasantries, but our common COL past has been the proverbial elephant in the living room. This past week I changed that.
“I went to his office and asked if he'd seen this forum. When he said he hadn't, I showed him how to find it. We also talked for a bit about how we feel about COL now. Later in an email exchange, he said it was the best conversation he has had with me, and I agreed.
“I hadn't realized how much I'd been living in fear, and how much of a burden this was. I finally feel like the last of the power Tae Yun had over me is gone. "The truth shall make you free." I've heard it all my life, but never fully understood it until now.
Kathy said, “Maybe she really thinks she is the second coming.....I don't know why she would think that after all she has done. Maybe she is going to go for the insanity plea?”
“I don't wish anyone bad...but you do reap what you sow...Hopefully they have been reading the posts and it is sinking in what all they have experienced. That isn't a normal or noble life. The working to help others is really working to give everything to her. There is no security. If she could do what she has done to other ex-coler's what would she do to them.. They see how she is going after Adam. So much for the love of her life, what would she do to them if she would do all this against Adam? It is all her way or the highway. Is that the Christian way? I don't think so.”
Failed Student said, “Kyong Ae's knowledge is superficial at best. She knows some names, but I'll bet if you ask her who Roentgen was, or Enrico Fermi, or any number of notables that have contributed to our knowledge, she'd be stumped. Just as an historical aside, Columbus did not discover America; it was Leif Erickson, about 500 years prior. But I digress....Ah yes, the "vendetta" word.. She used it here, and she practices it quite often it seems, even to the present day.”
Bemused said, “Another big word she threw around was "vendetta". She would introduce the word by saying it slowly and repeating it like we were the first to hear it.
“She's a fine one to talk about arrogance. The word that comes to my mind regarding her is "hubris." This is more than a synonym for arrogance. In ancient Greek tragedies, hubris referred to the hero's vain and foolish attempt to exceed his mortal abilities and challenge the gods. Indeed, her story reads like a classic Greek or Elizabethan tragedy.
“As far as the "intellectual" part goes, I think it's sour grapes. She envies what people with more mental discipline have been able to accomplish and the credibility that comes with it. (She claims to have a lot of self-discipline, but many of her actions as reported in this forum belie that claim.) She wants to be known as an expert, can't quite manage it, and so denigrates expertise.
“While I was there she went through at least three diction tutors. I never found out what happened to them. Maybe they saw that she was a cult leader and ran, or maybe she just couldn't handle being corrected.
“She gave me a hard time for using big words in my journal entries. But I'm a professional writer. That's how I think. I was supposed to be writing the journal entries partly for personal reflection, or at least that's what she said. When I would argue with her, she would respond in one of two ways. She would either tell me there was something wrong with me, which is a classic ad hominem attack, or she would just shout me down.
“I remember one evening when we were working out in her garage and she pointed to a bright star and called it the north star. Now, most former boy and girl scouts can find the north star by finding the Big Dipper first. It's not rocket science. In an attempt to be helpful, I showed her where the north star really was. She just got mad.”
Her Lesson said, “Tae Yun does not realize the damage she does when she proclaims to be the second coming! Not only are the competitors of LWS laughing at her, literally, but companies that work with LWS including, Distributors and Reps. I know I have heard them and what they say.
“If she was the second coming, then why did LWS do well only after Adam G took over and hired non-COL members and kind of kept her in the background? He was very wise. Why can she not heal all the poor souls in COL? Too bad she blames it on them.
“I do not feel sorry for her at all. She is responsible for herself, no one else is to blame. She knows exactly what she is doing and how she hurts others. She deserves all the pain that she gave others. My 2 cents!”
The poster Take Your Kin said, “Ah, the laughable practices of Tae Yun and her energy "knowledge". I wonder from what film she gleaned that idea?. She fashions herself Master, then Grand Master, then Dr. Grand Master Master or just Dr Grand Master to the second power and the second coming. The pattern here is Bull Crap. She may have a doctorate in Deception, but then she would put some spin on it and label it energy or her idiom. And of course, No one would understand it because they haven't suffered like she has. Bitch, please.
“I remember when I was a child in the 70s that a report came out on how to make money quickly. It was mentioned that starting your own religion or cult would garner wealth. Hmm, I wonder if someone had told her about that. I was raised in a non denominational, fundamentalist, spirit-filled home with a Catholicism bend thrown in for good measure and guilt. We couldn't drink soda, watch TV, listen to Rock music, celebrate Halloween etc. I bought this hook line and sinker. Until I was about 18. Free will entered the picture and even still, I thought all who didn't believe like I had been taught to believe would perish. We prayed for souls all the time. We should have put some of that effort into ourselves. We would do kind charitable acts under the banner of altruism, but really, we were looking to furnish our mansion in heaven by kind acts. We were so subservient, and it felt good that we did so much good and that we glorified God. We got high on that. We were addicted.
“What we didn't realize we were doing was we were making ourselves invaluable in the process. We were fractioning our spirit for the sake of others and really, I am not so sure we were the best witness for Christ. I hate to think that it was in vain. There was no balance. The more you did, the better off you were. That was the theory anyway. My parents gave until they realized they couldn't feed their own children. I sensed the competition my family had in giving so much with other members of the church. My parents were very generous. In the process, they managed to bankrupt themselves, neglect their children, and distance themselves from their families. We were laughed at and talked about. It went on for years. Luckily they realized the importance of balance, redirected themselves and my siblings and still maintained their faith. They were just misguided by a few people in power.
“Fulfilling that purpose had a power over my family, circle of friends etc. We were shepherded in just about everything we did. It was all church all the time. Our parochial school was connected to our church. We had folks cast demons out of us etc. I imagine that the similarities exist in any cult or organized/shepherded belief network. You believe you are dong good and for the good of yourself and others. That is a powerful obstacle to intellectually break down. I still believe in God. I still do good for others. I am not altruistic but I do feel the benefit of actually helping someone who needs it. I don't shepherd, pretend that I am knowledgeable and great. I don't even hand another my soiled tissues.
“We all have a spirit and we know when what we are doing feels genuine to us. That little voice in your head tells you something that it is right, good, wrong or "not quite right", listen to it. That is the still small voice of God.
“Sorry to incessantly ramble, but I hope this benefits some COL'er out there. That is my experience I wished to enucleate. Thanks for reading.”
Failed said, “It's called "trial by fire" Chica. I don't know if the universe has anything to do with it or if these things just happen. If one survives and escapes, one goes on to a happy life eventually. There was a lesson to be learned by involvement in a cult.
“I never intended to be in a cult. I only wanted to train in the martial arts, not to be a slave to a master. To me martial arts is about getting in good physical shape, learning some skills for self-defense, and maybe learning a little about Eastern philosophy and customs. To be honest, I will never set foot in any dojang again nor will I ever bow to
anyone for any reason.
“Never again will I utter a "yes sir" or a "yes ma'am". It might have been different if Kyong-Ae hadn't soured me on it all. That being said, I do like some of the food, including scallion pancakes and chap chae.”
bemused said, “One topic that I haven't seen addressed in this forum is people's reasons for joining JSW and then COL. One important aspect of COL recruitment is deception. I didn't fully know what I was getting into. When I found out, I didn't want to seem like a wimp pride wouldn't let me quit. And there were just enough rewards to keep me hoping things would get better.
“At the age of 25 I was lonely and depressed. I'd suffered a series of romantic disappointments, I'd found that the theatre groups I joined were not very friendly, and I'd had a tendency to be depressed since childhood. My mother had been married and divorced three times. Throughout my childhood there was lots of tension in my relationship with my mother because we're so different in temperament. And I'll admit that my social skills were somewhat lacking, having grown up nerdy and awkward. I'd taken some solace in New Age feel-good self-help books but hadn't really been able to put them into practice in any way that worked for me.
“In 1989 I made a New Year's Resolution to find a martial arts school. I looked at three in the Milpitas/Fremont area. The quality of training seemed higher at JSW, and the instructors were very friendly.
“The other two schools I looked at seemed to have more of a "tough guy" atmosphere.
“Though there were women training and the instructor at one place seemed very down-to-earth.) I was also intrigued by the idea that I could learn "spiritual" aspects of the martial arts.
“I joined and found that I really liked the workouts. I had taken dance classes in college and liked the power and grace of the movements. It took me a long time, years, before I could begin to cope with sparring, because I'm not the type who enjoys physical confrontation, but members of my family had been attacked and I was determined to learn to defend myself.
“I had been training perhaps six months when I was invited to join the meditation class. In the first class I felt like I was covered with gray clouds. Tae Yun talked to each student privately after the class, and her comment about this was something about recognizing my impurities. I've always been imaginative and prone to daydreaming, but this seemed like a revelation.
“I also had a private class with Tae Yun in which she told me how special I was and how she envisioned a noble destiny for me as part of her team of instructors. I'd always felt unappreciated and here was this wise woman (I thought) telling me that I had abilities no one else had ever seen before.
“I was at the time a member of a dating service, and admittedly desperate to find a relationship. The meditation class was changing to Friday nights. I told Tae Yun I didn't know whether to join the class or keep Friday nights open. Tae Yun said something like, "You know the answer. You're just confusing yourself." Thinking this was another big revelation, I dropped the dating service and joined the Friday night class.
“Around the same time, Tae Yun gave a class in which she said, "A rabbit can dig only one hole before the sun goes down." She said some of us were trying to do too many things and weren't focused enough on our training.
“At that point I quit my classical voice lessons and theatre involvement. I didn't shed any tears over the dating service, but I did shed tears about this.
“At that point I was invited to join COL, but balked at the money. I was then rejected, and I asked forgiveness and begged to be reconsidered. ES (then GG) advised me to show up at the COL house and wait on the lawn. This reminded me of the scene in that first episode of Kung Fu where the young boys who hope to study at the temple are waiting in the rain. I was invited in.
“My mother, who had begun training at that point, was horrified. She quit and urged me to as well. But Mom and I had never seen eye to eye, and I didn't listen when she talked about manipulation.
“I might have listened to Dad, but Dad never liked touchy subjects. I had other friends with other views. One said, "It's like 'The proud, the few, the Marines.'" So I started attending COL classes in the evenings.
“Many of those first classes concerned a student code-named "Harry" (really JW) who was causing some trouble at the time. Tae Yun said that her criticisms of Harry were for the purpose of teaching us. But I wonder if to this day "Harry" is aware of how scornful Tae Yun once was of him.
“The following spring Tae Yun started the live-in COL program for non-instructors. I was one of five women living in COL3. I was the junior member, so of course I was fair game to be picked on constantly.
“JC and I had frequent arguments, and we learned later that KK would talk to me about JC and to JC about me, probably under instructions from you know who.
“KW was mostly quiet, just staying out of everyone's way she was shy in those years. ES tried to keep the peace when she was around, but she wasn't much. We were constantly scolded for our "female energy," but other than giving general platitudinous "be nice to each other" talks, Tae Yun didn't do anything to resolve the conflicts. I especially wondered why KK wasn't restrained. It seemed to me that she was given full authority to act without consideration for anyone except Tae Yun, and that's what she did.
“This wasn't what I expected COL to be. Many times I wanted to quit, but I didn't because I didn't want KK and JC to gloat over my failure. Tae Yun said we should all be there for ourselves and for her, not for each other. I could relate to this. At the time I thought Tae Yun was as loving as she claimed to be. I couldn't see how the authoritarian structure of COL and the meanness that resulted were a reflection of Tae Yun herself.
“There were good times. Private classes, Self-Discovery Weekends, meditation classes, martial arts classes, and holiday celebrations kept me going, as did testing for new belts. Holidays were especially extravagant. Tae Yun wanted to be sure her celebrations put the family celebrations in our past to shame. And as new students entered COL, I wasn't at the bottom of the pecking order anymore.
“Thus I settled into the life I led for about 10 years. The peak years were 1994 and 1995, when I had an intensive program, tested for my black belt, and felt happy in my relationship with CA. These were probably the peak years for Tae Yun and COL in general. After I got my black belt, it was almost all downhill. I've talked about how I left in earlier posts.”
Kathy said, “Bemused said, I especially wondered why KK wasn't restrained. It seemed to me that she was given full authority to act without consideration for anyone except Tae Yun, and that's what she did:
Kathy said, “I probably wouldn't of stayed if I had the same restrictions as everyone else did. Tae Yun knew how to use each person for her own purpose. I liked to think that she thought of me as a friend, which she told me she was, regardless of what Scott said. Which she isn't anyone's friend unless it benefits her at the time. I didn't know how to be anybody but me.
“I was the oldest there that is why she likes younger people, it is harder to teach old dogs new tricks. But she still had her way with me. I usually say how I feel. I'm not one to say something behind someone’s back that I wouldn't say to their face. But Tae Yun did try to test everyone.
“It was hard for me to think of someone as my senior, when how good you are physically has no merit to me, on how you should be a senior.
“That didn't come out right but you know what I meant. Someone wasn't going to tell me what to do because they could break more bricks than me, or have more stamina. I'm talking outside of the tkd class. The instructors were a different level though. Go figure? I'll be back later when I am more awake.
Kathy said, “Bemused: Did you gloat when I left? Just curious, I know a lot of lies were told. I knew no one cared as everyone just wanted my job being next to Tae Yun. I am sorry if you thought I would gloat if you left.”
Her Lesson said, “bemused said, Tae Yun excels at well-targeted flattery. If you wonder how seemingly intelligent people could be so stupid as to follow her, that's why. She tells people exactly what they want to hear, and then demands gratitude for it.
“I have met some of you or know you from LWS and BS, and yes, most are quite intelligent and attractive. That is why it is so difficult to understand why. She is neither intelligent nor attractive, I actually found her to be repulsive and as the years and surgeries continue, she gets more repulsive to me.
Lesson said, “What she had and has to offer could be found in any self-help groups, MA classes, self-help books, or groups like Jim Jones, etc. and you did not have to over-extend your finances, mental or emotional self with the exception of groups like Jim Jones.
“After reading several books on cults (see previous postings) I don't believe she's even an exception at being a leader in that. The only exception, in my opinion, is, she greatly resembles a piranha, little pudgy body with a great big mouth filled with teeth that can eat a horse in seconds.
Failed Student said, “I forgot to mention something about this. There were so many "extras" in COL. COL members didn't just pay for JSW class, private classes, ET class, COL fees and self discovery weekends. I think that is what pushed people into financial poverty. They couldn't always plan for the "extras".
“I paid to train at ATC and also paid for the ET classes. There were different uniforms for each group. Additionally, Kyong Ae had us all buy jackets with the ATC patches on them. They were oversized patches, about a foot in diameter on the back, and another one on the front which was about 4-5 inches. As soon as I departed ATC, I removed the patches and burned them. There were other extras too, like chipping in to buy a TV, VCR, and video cam for ATC. Then there were those ridiculous key chains with her picture in them that were sold.. I didn't buy one of those.”
Failed said, “I would say she's added embellishments as the years go by. I never heard anything about her master, if indeed she had one. Of course, she never thought I'd be posting on this forum and now the false statements she has been making to you out there are laid bare.”
Ryanbeld said, “I remember during a COL class after she had ranted for a bit she told JW to put him in her position. She made him sit in her chair and act as if he were her. it was hilarious because he did a spot on impression, yelling at everyone and calling people out. I remember Tae Yun got so pissed at him and had everyone in class tell him that how dare he do that and all that crap. She would then ask people if she acted like that? of course everyone said "no ma'am". And then shortly after that she hit everyone with her stick...Obviously her vision of herself didn’t match Reality.
“and I must say, the sight and sounds of grown adults crying and begging to be taught by her while she's wailing on them with a stick and telling them how sick they make her and how selfish they are. it was tough to stomach.
“COL can't deny it, I remember it clearly. I was sitting there and it took everything I had not to reach up and grab that stick out of her hands. I felt like crap for sitting there especially when she hit my mom (who does everything for that woman) I wish I had lacked in restraint.
“by the way, I miss COL's posts.. I’m not surprised they aren't posting though, because there is nothing to deny. I just want them to know that if they do leave there is a support system out there, and if you want to stay, that’s cool too. just don’t pretend things didn’t happen and that she talks to God. that reminds me, I found it amusing when she told us that she "asked god to send us a kindergarten sign so we could understand”. like we are all dumbasses or something. I think the sign was a flower or a piece of fruit growing on a tree in winter. it was supposed to be a miracle from God. if that’s a miracle, she's obviously never heard of hydroponics ha-ha
“does anyone remember what other bible verses she quoted? the more the merrier”
Jacob said, “Failed Student said, Did you see energy? Did Tae Yun actually help you to see energy?
“I thought I was seeing auras, but I now believe it was auto-suggestion. After departing ATC, I picked out a book from my father's collection on physiological optics, and from that I deduced that all that was happening concerning auras was a disturbance in the retina. I think auras are a bunch of hooey, and the way you read a person's energy is by looking at their body language, nothing else. Of course, anytime I would mention science and reason to Kyong Ae, she would belittle me and ridicule science.
Clare said, “I am glad that I am not the only one who feels this way.
October 12, 2007
Failed said, “Other than the aforementioned Adam G, I don't think there would be any financial benefit for her to take legal action against ex-COLers or LWS people, since she's pretty well impoverished them. They couldn't even afford an attorney. What could she sue them for anyway? Telling the truth? "Betraying" her? That last one would get her laughed out of court.
“Even if she won a judgment, what money is there in it for her? Are their earnings from working at McDonald's or Wal Mart going to be attached? Neither do they own any real property so that's a no-go. All she would be doing would be to pay her "hungry" lawyers plenty and get nothing in return.
Jacob said, “chica, I think you of all people would know about children being called a devil. in one way or another. Children are inquisitive, questioning, and aren't satisfied with status quo. This doesn't sit well with her, obviously”.
Failed Student said, “Apparently Tae Yun Kim has no ethics whatsoever if she reveals information that is given to her in confidence. What is the purpose of having journal entries anyway if it's going to be made public?
“COLers, don't you learn your lesson the first time? Why do you continue to share your most intimate thoughts with her when she's going to use that to humiliate you? Has she rewired your brain processes so everything goes directly to her without any filtering? Keep your private matters private and there's no need to discuss matters relating to your "privates" either. It's none of her damned business what you think, what you do, or even who you do. Snap out of it already.
“It's time. Refuse to make any more journal entries. Go ahead, what's she going to do about it? Throw you out of COL? It would be the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Her Lesson “Jacob - Children are honest and say what they see and can see through bullst. That's why she doesn't like children because they see who she really is and she is afraid of anyone finding out who she really is.”
Her Lesson said, “Okay, I am expressing my views and feelings, and I'm not holding back. Just speaking my mind, so please forgive me if I offend anyone, this is not my intentions.
“For those who were brought up in COL, would you want some pudgy, old woman abusing your child the way you were abused, neglected, hungered? Would you want this woman to seduce your son or daughter when they are just reaching their sexuality?
“Would you want any member of your family, mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife, anyone to be punished they way you were punished, lied to, physical, mentally and emotional abused by an insecure, pudgy old woman? Would you allow a pudgy, old woman to deplete all their finances so she may live in luxury and have plastic surgeries?
“I am sure your answer would be "definitely not". Then, why are we allowing the person to continue her path of destruction, the next member could be someone we love.
“Is the COL'ers aspirations to cow down and be slave to an old pudgy woman? Wake up COL, she only has tricks. "You can do" and have done more then this nothing of a person has done. "You have done so much with so little for so long, if you leave, you can do anything with nothing.".”
bemused said, “Things may have changed since I left and there may be drug-taking, but I can't lend any support to the rumor.”
Her Lesson said, “I heard that one of the best freedoms after COL is not getting those phone calls, text messages every hour, to be free of those is truly freedom. How sad that Tae Yun needed that constant connection, how insecure when you cannot trust someone to be there for you unless you constantly connect. Isn't that a form of brainwashing? Again, how terribly insecure!”
Failed Student said, “Speaking of staying connected with Tae Yun, she asked me and everyone to write down our schedules so that she knew where we were at all times, so that if she needed us, we could drop everything and come to her. This was in the days before everyone had a cell phone, so I guess it's unnecessary now. Still, I think it rather presumptuous of her to think a person should leave work or their home or whatever else they were doing if she summoned us.
bemused said, “Chicabonita said Tae Yun has also told us many times how lonely she feels because there is no one "on her level".
Bemused added, “I remember a few times when other spiritual leaders came to visit her. One was a Buddhist nun who said Tae Yun had "information" but not "knowledge." When two COL students expressed in their journals that they thought following this Buddhist nun might be a better path, Tae Yun got really angry. Another was a woman from France. Tae Yun commented that talking with her was like talking to a sister, but also that she had body odor. Tae Yun liked a chubby Korean preacher, but when students suggested she marry him she said he lacked the physical component of energy balance. Most of the time she criticized other spiritual leaders or martial artists behind their back; they always came up short in some way.
“She did seem to respect a high-ranking Buddhist monk she met in Korea. But I'll bet that if she hadn't met with his approval she would have found some "sour grapes" reason to criticize him too.”
Failed Student said, “Ryanbeld - She never got religious while in Vermont, other than translating from Korean to English for her mother when we all went to the Buddhist temple.
“I find it disturbing that she has taken this turn, to the point of declaring herself the savior of mankind or whatever. This seems to me to be bordering on the delusional, and it marks a severe change from her activities here.
“If she continues along this path, I really seriously fear for all of her followers, since she appears to be getting more and more enmeshed in messianic ideation.”
Failed said, “Tae Yun tries to give her object lessons by doing things to excess. If she allowed you to have a cigarette, and/or a glass of wine, you wouldn't have had a negative experience. The problem with her is that she didn't allow you to try these things in moderation, and so giving you cheap wine and beer and ordering you to drink it all will make you sick. Same thing with tobacco if you aren't accustomed to it. She must be a freaking sadist to sit there and laugh at you while you puked your guts out. Taking pictures to humiliate you at a future date, or maybe for her to look at for her own amusement when she's tired of watching porn or whatever. I wonder how she would like it if the tables were turned.
“If you were a child and were drinking, Chica, even at her command, you are guilty of underage drinking and she of furnishing alcohol and cigarettes to a minor. Here in Vermont there are fines for doing that. I assume the same in California.”
Bemused said, “Maybe she found it cute. But regardless, I still find it disturbing. And the point of me writing about this is to let people know that her ways of raising children and advice to parents can really be screwed up sometimes.
“I was there and I don't remember finding it cute. But I'm allergic to tobacco smoke and have no alcohol tolerance, so my gut reaction might have been different from those who previously enjoyed these substances. At the time I could appreciate the intention of trying to prevent future drug abuse, but in my thoughts I questioned the means to this end.
“The more I think about it, the less the logic makes sense to me. I don't think aversion treatment works. I was groped once as a teenager, which disgusted me, but that didn't prevent me from enjoying sex later.
“People who get addicted to something, whether booze or food or shopping, have insufficient rewards and poor coping skills. Teaching kids how to enjoy life, set goals, manage stress, and recover from setbacks is the best way to keep them drug-free, IMHO.”
Her Lesson said, “Bemused - I agree with you bemused, I would bet that if someone would have reported the incident, she would have been arrested for child abuse. I don't think the authorities would have thought it was cute. After hearing all this, my thought is, she should not be allowed 100 yards near any child. Well if we want to go further, she should not be allowed to be 100 yards near any 19 year old boys either.”
bemused said, “Her Lesson - April of 2006. Yes, Chica is a new ex-member compared to some of us (I've been out for 8 years), but the typical recovery time from the acute stress of leaving is 18 months to 2 years. So the worst is over.
“I don't know if it's possible to ever be completely over membership in a destructive cult. When I discovered this forum, it brought some old issues to the surface and even created some new ones as I discovered things about Tae Yun that I hadn't known before. To explain it to my family and friends, I've asked them to imagine how they would feel if they discovered years after a divorce that their emotionally abusive ex-spouse was secretly involved with the mafia during their marriage.
“If you spent years devoted to a group's cause, you want to believe that something good came out of it. If you spent years proclaiming your love for someone, you want to believe they cared about you. Realizing that you wasted years of your life for an utterly selfish person is not easy to do. Mixed messages are part of the recovery process.
“Sometimes what appear to be mixed messages are just clarifications. Tae Yun has been accused of so many things it would be easy to accuse her of anything. But it's important to have evidence. That's why when people started discussing rumors of drug use in COL, I stated that I hadn't seen any. This was not intended as a defense of Tae Yun.”
Failed Student said, “I agree that the first two years are the hardest after getting out of a cult. Tae Yun Kim, your actions, reactions, and how you relate to others will all bear some vestiges of your time within the cult. Even after ten years out, I sometimes found myself responding "yes ma'am", until someone pointed it out to me, or rather, told me to cut it out.
“Everything I have posted on this forum is the truth. I have deliberately avoided rumors and second hand information, and have tried, sometimes unsuccessfully, to remain objective. All of our experiences have been traumatic and life altering, and Bullshido has provided me the long awaited forum where I could finally expose Tae Yun Kim's duplicitous machinations. In so doing, I have found myself rather dumbfounded by what she has said in Vermont vs. what she says in California about the same matter, such as the blue mark on her arm - here it was that she and a friend both tattooed themselves, there she says her master gave it to her.”
Failed Student said, “Chica - I want to thank you for throwing all those questions at me and making me recall what happened to me so long ago. You have also cleared up some questions in my mind as to certain events here, events that have bothered me but now make me understand how evil, how truly evil, Tae Yun Kim is.”
Kathy said, “I gave up everything that I thought I wanted and I needed when I turned against Kim's lies....I couldn't see the lies she was going to do and was doing and playing God ...to go on and still live with myself. I loved her, thought the world of her, but I just couldn't continue hiding and knowing her lies. She is for herself, and herself only. From what I seen first hand. It doesn't look like she has changed, in fact by the posts here and conversations with others, she has gotten worse. Ignorance is not bliss.... it just delays the inevitable. Realizing that what you thought was good was instead....nothing but lies.”
bemused said, “The breaking point is the visible result of a slow, steady erosion. Making the decision to leave takes time. About two years before I left, I started having crying spells seemingly out of nowhere. I didn't feel like I could talk to Tae Yun or anyone in the cult about them, so I called my mom. Talking honestly to one's family was strongly discouraged. We were supposed to contact them often enough that they wouldn't make trouble and to tell them we were doing great. So this was serious disloyalty. It was the beginning of the end.”
Kathy Kim said, “Bemused, I fully understand what you are saying. It is hard to leave something that you love and that you have put so much time in. It is also a final decision. There is no going back. She is a master in manipulation. I was not proud of the lies she had me tell while there. The cover ups. She was set to ruin SE's life, or better yet, do things she wanted to do in her marriage to him and not tell him. He was 24 years old. A good young man, someone who deserved better. Children are important and he was looking forward to having them. But she couldn't have any, in fact she lied saying she could. I was with her at the doctor. She said she would use her younger sister's egg and put it with his sperm, which is fine, if he would of known that and agreed to it. But she was never going to tell him it wasn't her egg. The Dr said that was up to her to tell him. That is the straw that broke the camels back to me.
“You can't play God like that. So when I left I went straight to his father, told him the truth so he could tell his son. Then it was his son's decision if he wanted to forgive her lies and stay with her, or leave her. He made the right choice. He checked out the story and found it to be truth, left and is now a happy loving father with a wonderful family.
“So I would gladly go through the hell I did again, because my inner conscience is most important to me. How many secrets does she have everyone keep? You have to live your inner conscience. You and you alone are responsible for them on judgment day.”
Failed Student said, “I cannot help but notice a pattern that Tae Yun follows. If one of her close students reaches that breaking point, she either tosses them out , suspends them, or lets them walk. That's not the end of it though she seems to think their world can't revolve without her being a part of it, and she starts harassing them - mostly with interminable phone calls, and now, text messages. She begs them to return, and then if they do, she has her vengeance. As someone stated, her emotions can turn on a dime, and there is no sincerity in her. So she toys with people, like players on a chessboard, moving them about at will.
“In my case, from the day she suspended me for three months, she started calling me. I guess she still had a hold on me, because I did agree to get together with her, had a few meals, did a bit of strictly martial arts training. Her ulterior motive however, was to get me fully recommitted to her cause, and I saw that and saved myself from her "tender mercies". She reeled me in like a fish, but the line snapped.
“If there is any truth to what Rossanna stated, that Tae Yun has a new playmate, then maybe that will take the pressure off of Adam, and her energy will be expended on the new recruit. I wonder how old this one is, and how long this can go on.
“Sixtyish women should start slowing down a bit in the bedroom, and I really wonder what kind of hold she has on the young stud. Without her makeup and wig she must be a fright, but there is always the mercy of darkness.”
bemused said, “Failed Student - She didn't harass me, probably because I was still attending regular martial arts classes for a while. Also, in 1998 lots of people left and I don't think she could harass them all. Some of them, the people who spoke to Inside Edition were harassing her.
Bemused said, “Juliana recounted her experiences in Part 1 of this forum. The first time she tried to leave she was wooed back in an all-night private class with Tae Yun, in which Tae Yun answered her grievances by promising reform. Of course, as soon as Juliana agreed not to leave, she had to prove herself and all promises were forgotten.
“Overall, Tae Yun's reaction to students leaving resembles how abusive husbands react when their wives leave. They alternate between getting angry and begging for forgiveness, hoping that somehow either fear or guilt will reestablish their control.”
“If there is any truth to what Rossanna stated, that Tae Yun has a new playmate, then maybe that will take the pressure off of Adam, and her energy will be expended on the new recruit. I wonder how old this one is, and how long this can go on. Sixtyish women should start slowing down a bit in the bedroom, and I really wonder what kind of hold she has on the young stud. Without her makeup and wig she must be a fright, but there is always the mercy of darkness.
Rossanna said, “Anyone that needs to stoop to such games know that they aren't important therefore they strive to give an "illusion" of importance, at least to those who would see it as such like her followers who don't know any better. Although I have heard that she does go to extreme lengths to impress people she perceives as celebrities, I think that for the most part, all her actions are targeted towards her followers. They are after all her bread and butter and if she can convince them with more than just her words and her "skills" that she is important, then the deeper they fall for the facade that she has built around herself.
bemused said, “But she's quite a legend in her own mind! She's the most successful woman in the world! Why? Because she says so!”
Shadow Dancer said, “Or through judicious gifts to institutions, she can get someone else to 'endorse' her.
“She buys up many of her books and magazine articles so that she appears to be in demand. She uses COL'ies money to do it. Then she tells the COL'ies she is sold out because she is a big success. Then they all chirp in unison: Wow ma'am, you are so incredible.
“She has someone nominate her for 'best employer to work for.’ She then pressures the employees to write glowing testimonials. She gets her trinket award and then tells the COL'ies that they don't appreciate how good they have it there. She probably then thinks of raising her rates or finding some way to charge them more.
“She gets the best awards and honors that the COL'ies money can buy.”
bemused said, “Shadow Dancer - Man, how I hated the pecking order in COL! I had to take every lame-brained order that came down the line. If a senior student didn't like me or was just having a bad day, I had to take the verbal abuse. At times I tried being nice to junior students, but I discovered that in the culture of COL this only meant I didn't get respect.
“Sometimes Tae Yun would feign sympathy for the newbies and tell the senior members to be nice to them, but this was just her having it both ways as usual. She got to be dictatorial and to appear compassionate at the same time.”
bemused said, “Shadow Dancer said, Part of the problem is that some of the senior COL'ies are as dumb as a sack of rocks. It's hard to kowtow to someone who is truly clueless.
“I don't remember anyone being stupid, but some people were ignorant in certain areas. At times it was frustrating working at Lighthouse for COL people who had no clue about the value of what I was doing. What mattered most was obedience, which I wasn't very good at, although I tried.
“I was one of the few people in the early days of Lighthouse who came in with a full set of skills relevant to my job. Most of the other COL employees learned on the job, so Tae Yun could take credit for their accomplishments, and they were dependent on her. I didn't go around giving credit to Tae Yun for my Lighthouse work, which is probably why it wasn't appreciated much except by the customers.”
bemused said, “As far as I know, there were only seven children who grew up living in COL full-time. Chica, Ryan, Jacob, ML, and NL were the first wave, so to speak, and they are all out now.
“But getting oneself out of the cult is only half the battle. The other half is getting the cult out of oneself. The kids had less experience in the real world than the adults did, so they probably took more of the cult BS for granted. But in a way they were less indoctrinated because they never chose to join and weren't expected to be as loyal as the adults. For example, Chica and Ryan could listen to the radio in their rooms and it was tolerated, but if the adults did that they would be punished. So once the kids got out and learned about the world they were probably able to get rid of the BS faster.
“I'm concerned about Yong Sa Nation, but as long as the kids don't move into COL, they will probably be all right. Tae Yun can't retain and control people of any age very well unless they live with her or with other full-time COL students.
“Part of Chica's and Ryan's difficulty is that their mother is the only parent still in COL who has children on the outside. All the other parents are out (except JP's mother), so family relationships can be mended.”
November 25, 2007
bemused said, “I am not blaming Tae Yun entirely for my experience in COL or Lighthouse. I chose to join just as I chose to leave.
“I was deceived about what COL membership involved, however. If I had known before joining COL about the emotional abuse I could be subjected to, I wouldn't have joined. When I found out about it, I was already committed. For a long time I tried to make the best of it. I tried to believe Tae Yun when she reframed the abuse as teaching and character building.
“There are many examples of emotional abuse in my previous posts and in other people's posts. The main form it takes is what I call the Humiliation Ritual, where Tae Yun calls a COL student front and center, usually in the presence of instructors or other COL students, and insults and yells at them until they break down.
“There were good times too, such as holidays and special programs. I liked the TKD training and meditation. These things kept me going. In a way, I left when I ran out of things to look forward to. Leaving was a bit like getting divorced: I grieved some, but I was also relieved.
“Since leaving, I've done well. I don't want anything from Tae Yun. I think other people should be forewarned as I wasn't, and that's why I've been posting here.
bemused said, “Some social psychology is relevant here. A leader is always more to blame than the followers are.
“In a famous set of experiments, a psychology professor named Stanley Milgram tested people's obedience to authority. If you do a web search on his name you will find the details. The essence of what he found is that most people will obey an authority who orders them to inflict dangerous levels of pain on another person. (The other person was acting, but the experimental subjects didn't know this.) The only people likely to disobey are people who consider themselves authorities.
“Blaming followers is similar to blaming victims. It's an example of the Fundamental Attribution Error (another worthy web search), which is attributing people's actions more to their personalities than to social and situational influences. Milgram's results were shocking because they showed that ordinary people follow cruel orders, not just a few people who are cruel by nature.
“I'm not saying COL members are blameless for following Tae Yun's orders. I am saying that Tae Yun deserves most of the blame.”
Rossanna said, “I think that if any of the COL members, current and ex were told from the beginning just what it was they were getting into, there would be no COL. You were given inaccurate information and preyed on during a vulnerable time in your life which is the usual modus operandi of cults everywhere. This in itself takes the blame off the victim and places it solely on the leaders shoulders. That you later participated in cult activities were just part and parcel of survival within the world you had found yourself in. I think this is true for the lower echelon and kids that were in the cult. You said in your post that there were several levels of immersion or rings around Tae Yun Kim and you were never allowed into the inner circle. You surmised that this was because you had deigned to question "protocol" and called out her instructor’s actions as "manipulation". This would have told her that you were still resistant to her training and may well be driven over the edge had you been invited into the inner circle and actually witnessed some of the things that happened to people in "special programs". In order for her programming to work, you would need to be more "open" and "committed" and the fact that you still kept a part of bemused intact probably saved you from her and later gave you the strength to get out from under her thumb.
“I believe that most of those in COL truly believe in Kim and all her so called "teachings and visions" but I think that there are those that are in there in spite of the fact that they know what Kim's game really is. Those are the one's I would think should be held just as responsible as Kim.
…
“What about the suffering that is inflicted on the lesser members? What rationale could a sane person possibly apply that would make such treatment on other human beings seem reasonable? In the article “Show me your commitment” that was posted on the cultmaster site, the other players were the instructors who bore witness to the whole thing and later participated by holding the men’s heads down the toilet as it was flushed repeatedly. This testimony in itself shows that she does have accomplices who take part in her cruel little rituals. That is culpability. That is responsibility because there is no way in hell, no matter what the supposed “crime”, that anyone can justify that kind of cruelty and deliberate mental and physical abuse. I cannot even begin to imagine how anyone, other men at that, could stand by and do nothing as their peers are yelled at and commanded to severe their genitals with a steak knife.
“My sympathy lies with those that were deceived into believing that Kim could give them a better life and preyed upon during a time in their lives when they needed real love and friendship not the “love bombing” and manipulation they ended up with. On the other hand, anyone who is in there who knows what is happening and takes active participation in Kim’s brand of self aggrandizement with the goal of getting something out of it for themselves with no regard as to who they step on to reach their goal deserves everything they have coming to them whether it be in this life or the next. Karma is 3 x 3, what you do to others come back threefold.”
Her Lesson said, “This I can attest to, I have seen and experienced her manipulation. Although, I did not see what she wanted me to see, what I saw was an overly made-up old woman (with a lot of teeth) who used people and certainly did not "walk her talk".
“So this not only proves she is fake not only on the outside with all her plastic surgeries but on the inside as well. Can someone tell me one non-fake thing about her, something that was not set up?”
bemused said, “Leaving a cult is a long process. It begins in the mind, before any rebellion is visible, and continues through the period of adjusting to the world beyond.
“I date my break with Tae Yun to October of 1998, right around my 35th birthday. I left full-time COL and Lighthouse at the same time. I lost what had been my family, friends, fiancé, job, home, and religion, all at once. I've never been through divorce, but my parents have. In a divorce, usually some family and friends are retained, and employment and religion don't change. I think leaving a cult is harder.
“I continued to live with other COL members for about a month while I earned enough money from my new, much better paying job to afford an apartment. I avoided them and they avoided me. All my belongings fit into my deteriorating Hyundai. I had no furniture, though I later bought the futon I had used in COL. The only item I remember needing help moving was my 60-pound keyboard, a parting gift from Tae Yun.
“My mom took me to Wal-Mart and bought me household stuff, everything from dishes and cooking pots to towels and sheets. Even at a cheap store, it amounted to several hundred dollars. Money was so tight that it took me a couple of years to pay her back. I don't think she minded. As we were discussing the merits of various microwave ovens, I think she was rejoicing inside.
“I continued in part-time COL until the new year, but then I could no longer afford it because one of my credit cards demanded that I settle. I continued as a regular martial arts student until August of 1999. Meanwhile a second credit card demanded that I settle and my car died. A gift of several thousand dollars from my grandmother helped me buy a better car.
“TC, my boss at my new job, was exceptional at both organization and people skills. He asked if I was set up to work at home. I said no, and he arranged for me to work on a laptop.
“This turned out to be vital, because some days I was so exhausted that I needed to take a nap in the afternoon. If I was working at home I could work at odd hours and it didn't matter to TC as long as the work got done, which it did.
“On a difficult day, I told TC in a brief email that I had been through a crisis and lost my friends, family, home, etc. all at once. In his reply he said that he was amazed I could do so well at my job under such extreme stress, and glad to be able to provide a supportive work environment. I cried. To this day I thank God for TC's kindness.
“For a year and a half after leaving COL, I was so easily exhausted that if I went out after work two evenings in a row, I would come down with a cold or flu or some other minor illness. Fortunately, because I could work at home, I could keep working at a reduced pace even if I was ill.
“An email flame I sent at work caused me to think about getting some counseling. I realized I had a lot of suppressed anger. I saw a counselor, JZ, for about seven months, during the time I was a regular MA student. I vented anger at Tae Yun, yet at times I defended her. At one point I said that she had good intentions. JZ replied, "So did the leaders of the Spanish Inquisition." At the time I thought the comparison extreme, and said so. Now of course I think JZ was right.
“JZ didn't urge me to leave completely, and she was right not to do so. She just helped me analyze what I went through and how I felt so I could come to my own conclusions. If I tried to justify something Tae Yun did, I got to listen to myself tell her and realize how absurd my thinking was. When she asked questions about COL life, it was a relief to be able to tell the truth for once.
“I joined several music organizations and met other musicians. I developed friendships of varying depth but didn't date, really. Sometimes a male musician would suggest we work on a musical project and then lose interest in the project when it was obvious that I wasn't romantically interested, but that was as far as it went for about a year and a half.
Failed Student said, “Although my departure from the cult was not as dramatic as others who post here, I did endure about two years of after effects, with the nightmares and need to get rid of conditioned responses.
“I have learned about my inner strengths, my ability to say no even under pressure, and yet not lose empathy. I have always been a generous person, and that generosity was a vulnerability, since there are those that will take advantage of it. So I have learned to separate the wheat from the chaff. I can and do write that check to the food shelf, contribute a few turkeys when the appeal goes out, and put in my time with a battered women's shelter. For all that I have endured, there are those that have had to deal with a greater amount of adversity. So while I do and will continue to chase away the Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons and evangelicals from my door, I continue to help those in need. To see the face of a child who has very little receive the gift of a stuffed toy and a warm jacket. To give to the deserving is far better than to the undeserving.
“I was fortunate in that I never lived within the walls of the cult, never gave over my life's savings, never completely cut myself off from friends and family, although at the time I was acting a little weird to them. So yes, even at this late date I harbor resentment toward Tae Yun and Scott and Michael F. and hope they suffer adversity as they have caused others to do. I will not do anything to cause that to come about, other than to reveal the truth about them and their actions toward me and other Vermonters.
“I sincerely hope that those whose are fence sitting in COL read this and come to understand there is a huge world outside of Tae Yun's microcosm. Chica has so dramatically spoken of her awkward attempts at socialization due to being shut off from that world, but she worked through it, and from what I read, has become a more balanced person. So those who now begin to question Tae Yun, please think of YOUR life and future, and let Tae Yun reap what she has sown, which I think will be the whirlwind. This abuse has gone on far too long, she has and continues to ruin lives and families, and it must stop.”
Her Lesson said, “I speak for myself, it is not revenge that I would want, it is to stop her from hurting others. Everyone should have the opportunity to know the truth about her and her businesses, what she was, what she is and what she is becoming. Not a pretty picture!
“As mentioned in a previous post, the deception of what you are told when joining forces with her and what the truth actually is, is so far apart at the polar scale. People should know the truth and then have the opportunity to refuse. That is not the case!
“It should be made public, on TV, newspapers, etc. about her.”
Bemused said, “Telling teens not to have sex but giving no coaching about specific situations and how to handle them is bound to be ineffective. When things get hot and heavy on their parents' sofa, what are they supposed to do, get up and run away?”
Bemused said, “Something horrible probably did happen to Tae Yun as a child. I've stated before that she has symptoms of all the Cluster B personality disorders: borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, and antisocial (antisocial PD is the new name for psychopaths or sociopaths). People with any of these disorders are likely to have been abused as children. With borderline and histrionic disorders especially, childhood sexual abuse is quite common. This is also common in the histories of prostitutes.
“That her mother is "nice" doesn't mean she wasn't abusive. Abusive parents are often quite "nice" in public. My first stepfather was a violent alcoholic psychopath, but he was the model of charm with strangers and acquaintances.”
Failed Student said, “One matter I have to comment on is Tae Yun's vanity. She has a fear of aging that is quite remarkable. She once told me that I soon would be turning X years of age, to which I responded that she too would reach that age. She angrily stated "that's different". Apparently she thinks the clock doesn't tick for her in the same way it does for others.
Failed Student said, “Chicabonita Tae Yun will never change her ways. For starters she is too far removed from reality.
“She lives in a fantasy world where she has a group of people that do nothing but praise her. She got praised for farting (I kid you not). She got praised for eating junk food, and she got praised for sleeping all day when the rest of us were busting our asses.
“She even got praise for describing the foot long dump she took during her "yearly retreat" back in 1993. She feels like everyone owes her just for being in her presence. She will never change her thinking, and never feel remorse. I just don't see it in her.
Failed Student said, “What's ironic about this Chica, is that Tae Yun asked me to be her friend. (You've got to wonder about a person that has to ask for friendship). Maybe when she first came to the US, she did walk around town with a sandwich board knocking on doors asking people to be her friend -
“To me, friendship implies equality between the parties. When I asked whether I could call her Kyong Ae, she said "no, that would be a deedjaster". I should have taken the clue right then and there and quit training and everything. But in those days, I was still impressed by the mystique of Eastern arts and philosophy and felt I had something to gain by staying. As time passed and this ersatz friendship unraveled, she compared what was happening to a sapling that was planted and that I had uprooted it before it took hold, or that I had hacked off branches each time I did something she disapproved of.”
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